8 years on.......

I can't believe 8 years has passed. Sometimes, you don't even feel like time has passed but there are times when you wish you could stop it and hang on to it a bit longer.........

I miss my playmate, my more of a big brother than an uncle, my best friend, my kaki to go geylang every hari raya eve........everyday. When we go out, people could always tell we are somehow related. And as I got older, whenever we go out, people always thought I was your daughter. Hahahaha!

I wish life had been nicer and kinder to you. The choices you made has taught us all a great lesson in life. It has taught us not to make the same mistakes you made.

I wish time was given to you a bit longer. I wish you had the chance to meet the love of my life. I know for sure, the two of you would have hit it off! I wish you had the chance to be a granduncle to my 2 girls. I bet you would love and spoil them endlessly!

Now all I can do, is just miss you everyday.......

Understanding Beauty & The Beast

I am one big fan of Disney's Princesses. You do know that I am talking about the cartoon princesses right? I have watched all the Disney's Princesses cartoon including Princess Sophia.

Today Disney Channel was showing Beauty & The Beast. I sat down and watched with my Little Gerl who is also recently into the Disney's Princess. I have always love Beauty & The Beast! I mean Beauty is just a simple girl, who gave up everything just for her dad to be safe. At the same time, she fell in love with the beast who was actually a Prince cursed till he meet someone who loves the beastly him.

As a child, I watched cartoon just as it is...cartoon. But now, older and wiser, I realise that every Disney's Princess cartoon, has a meaning or more like its what every girls wants in their "Prince". Take Beauty & The Beast as an example, like I said, Beauty was just a simple girl. Then she met Beast and she changed him from a beast into a Prince charming. Isn't that what every girl wants? I mean we always hope or believe that we can change our 'Beasts" into a "Prince". Most of the times, it is the most impossible thing to do!

I mean Men are beasts. No matter how you try to change them into a refined Men, you can never stop them being beasts. The way they eat, the way they do things, the games they play. And especially when they are in their comfort zone, they are impossible to change!

Nenek

They always said, time will heal the pain.......but they never said how long it will take.

It has been  year since Nenek passed away. I never did blog about the passing of my nenek. Maybe because I was just too busy with everything that was going on or maybe because I was still in denial or maybe I was just feeling guilty that I did not spend as much time as I should with her once I got married.

I missed the times when I can just picked up the phone and called her to tell her what is going.

My nenek, the matriarch of the family. We never did realise, until she was gone, that she was the glue that kept us together. Without her, we are all just bits and pieces........and things never did get back to the way it used to be.

But everyday, I am grateful. I am blessed to have so many people to love. I am grateful that I get to spend 31 years with her. As the eldest grandchild, I get to do so many first things with her. I am very lucky cos she was there for my engagement, wedding, she get to meet my 2 girls....yes I am lucky.

Although my nenek had a difficult life in the beginning, I know that she is love by many. and the loss of her, we can never replace. Now all we are left are just memories.......

This is the one pic that I love most, Nenek with Naira............

Reminiscing My Old Neighbourhood

When I was younger, I stayed in a HDB flat where the lift stops only at certain floors, 1st Floor, 7th Floor and the 11th Floor. My family stayed on the 10th floor. So to take the lift, we had to climb up to the 11th floor, walked past the neighbours on that floor to reach the lift. The old flats have only one common lift lobby. Maybe thats why, the neighbours knew each other better then than now. 

I remembered I used to just walk down ( or run down) the stairs when I go to school or run errands for my mum (or just hoping to see / bump into my crush who stayed on the 3rd floor). In fact, it seemed easier to just use the stairs to go down, rather than climb up and wait for the lift. 

When I was 8 years old, I had already started going to school on my own. I made friends with a senior girl (2 years older) who stays 2 floor below. I remembered I would leave the house at 6 and meet her at her floor. I can't remember her name (I just called her 'Kak') however, but i remembered her for having long hair which is braided everyday. I cannot remember how I met her, or who approach who. But I remembered she thought me a lot of things, like how to play 'zero points', how to tie my shoelaces so that the ribbon will turn out nice, how to talk to boys.........

I even waited for her after school so that we could go home together. I cannot remember however, what excuses I gave my parents in regards to coming home late. But I know she taught me what to say. I would not say she taught me bad things, cos I don't think I got into any trouble. I did learnt a lot about boys and friends though. I believe, because of what I learned from her, I survived my teenage years well.

Our friendship did not last long. In fact it was less than 6 months. Like I say, we used to walk back home together, but one day after school, she brought me to a bus stop that I have never been to before and inform me that soon I had to walk back on my own cos she is going to another school. And just like that she left me to find my way back home. Her family moved away just before the June holidays. I did not get to her see her again ever. I wonder if I would ever recognise her if I were to bump into her one day......

Our Love Affair..........

Today is Soul's bday! I could not think of what to get for him so I thought I would dedicate a post just for him on his 32nd Bday!

If you do not know by now, Soul and I were classmates when we were in primary school. He was the only boy who did not tease or make the girls cry (although he did break a few hearts! ;P) I won't say he was a good boy, but he was a nice one. He was not loud, nor rebellious. He was playful though and he hates maths!

We sat together in class. There was never awkwardness or bad feelings between the 2 of us. He was (and still is) very easy to talk to. I think I share most of my secrets with him, though I don't think he remember any of them now. I remembered he was the one to bring me a bad news and comfort me. I also remember him crying because a girl break his heart. I remember he always make me laugh. The one memory that I remembered strongly was once in class, he made me laugh so hard during lesson that we were both caught and called on to answer to a question that we both had no idea what was it.

I have a lot of good memories bout him. The girls in class also loved him and they all looked up to him like a big brother. Although I knew a few girls who wished he could be more than just a big brother ;P As far as I can remember, I have never heard of anyone talking or not liking him. He was everybody's friend and I think what draws people to him, is his humbleness, his sense of humour and just the fact that he has a good heart and no bad feelings/intentions towards anyone.

Shuqun Primary School Pri 5C

We lost contact once we went to different secondary school. Though now I wish we had not. I feel like I missed seeing him in his teenage years and I wondered if I could be a better influence to him then and I wish he was there when I go through my teenage years.

Even though I have never met him again after our primary school, I never forgot him and always wondered what happens to him.

One day I met up with a very good friend form our Primary school. We talked about lots of our old memories and friends in school. I asked her if she ever met Soul since they lived in the same neighbourhood. She said "Yeah I bumped into him often. OMG! You should go and look for him! He is so cute now!" Hahahahaha! And so I did.

During those days, Facebook was not around yet. If you guys can remember, instead, we had friendster. So I looked for him through friendster and found him! At that time, I was going through my NIE for Dip in Special Education. He had just finish serving NS and was working part time at the Esplanade. We started calling and talking on the phone and planned to meet up.

Our first meet was at Marina Sq. I met him after his breakdance class. My first thought of seeing him after so many years of not seeing him was, "Wow he did not change!" I mean he was still the boy I knew, cheeky, playful, humble and nice. Of cos physically he was bigger and taller. We had our dinner and walked around the esplanade and took pictures. (I can't seem to find those pics now!) Going home was surprisingly awkward. We were not sure how to say goodbye, and our silly friend offered his hands and we shake! We talked about it later on and laughed at it even till now.

We met up again 2 weeks later and went on a proper date. We watched a movie and went to Marina Bay for some post National Day events. By then we were already holding hands ;*) . We got to see fireworks which I really loved! Then walk back to city hall to take the MRT. Somehow I was not sure what was going on in his head by now and I was not sure where we were heading to. I mean, we had always had that brother sister relationship when we were in school. I don't think he even knew I had already loved him back then.

We talked about it later on on the phone. We decided not to rush things as we felt we both want to be matured about it. But it was a month later when we went steady. It was very unexpected and surprising. He actually left me outside Harbourfront, giving an excuse that he needs to go to the toilet. He took quite awhile so I got busy playing games on my phone till I did not realise he got back. We sat and talk some more and suddenly he surprised me with a flower. And as they say, the rest were history.

Its funny how our life turned out for us. I have never thought / imagined that I would marry my Primary school crush. I have never had any serious relationship before. I have never felt like "Oh I am going to marry this guy" with any of the guys I went out with. Somehow with Soul, I knew in my heart that things would work out better for us. I am always grateful and blessed to have married that boy I knew who turned out to be the love of my life. He was never a Prince charming nor that perfect guy. But he is my kind of guy! He treats me in a way that every woman and girl SHOULD be treated.

So, to my dearest hubby, Happy Birthday! This post would be a lot longer if I really put in every thoughts and feelings I have about you from the day 1. But I guess that there are some of the things that I do not want to share. You have made me a better person than I ever will be. Thank you for being that imperfect person you are! And being that wonderful daddy to our 2 baby girls! I love you lots and lots!

After 10 years

Can't believe 10 years have gone since I first started working. I am now currently working in my 11th year but I can still remember how my first day went. It is so weird thinking back to my first day. I never thought I would get this far with this job. Cos many people who knew me, would know that I never liked working with children. But here I am still.......

The past 10 years has been a wonderful experience. And even now, everyday I learn something new. It does not matter whether it is in regards to the children, myself or my job.

Many people would go WOW! when hearing about my work with children with special needs. But I never thought of it as a big deal. I always feel that every job in the world is important.

For example, everyone thinks it is easy to be a cleaner and it is a low qualification job. But do you know that there are ways to sweep properly. That there are steps to cleaning the toilet. Why certain equipments can be used and cannot be used.......

Do you think it is easy to be a world leader? The decisions you have to make. Can you imagine how one decision can affect millions of people. That you can never please EVERYONE. Do you want to be that person who has so much money but can never sleep peacefully, knowing you are hate by millions...........You can offer me millions of dollars BUT I would never one to be that person!

Everyone always thinks they can do better than that other person. But when they are handed the dirty plate, no matter what detergent you use, that plate is sometimes only clean on the surface. It can still be very oily. It does not matter what job you are doing, what matters is that you love it!

Ok back to me. I love my job. Yes I do complained about the people (I am only human), about how things are managed but everyday I learn something new. I learn how to work better, how to be a better person, how to handle the stress better. And it helps a lot that I am working with a wonderful team of people. My team of people is so helpful, so wise and so full of knowledge. I cannot ask for anything better. I am working with wonderful teachers to look up to, to learn from, so how can I hate my job! 2014 seems to be starting out as a good year for me........

Saying Goodbye to 2013

Saying goodbye to 2013 is very hard! It is not only because that means the holidays are truly coming to the end, but saying goodbye to another year, to me also saying goodbye to the so many things that had happened in the year.

2013 started out exciting with the arrival of our 2nd baby Girl, Arissa Nailah. Even though I did not planned to have this soon, I am so glad and thankful that she arrived safely into our life. Naira did not have a hard time adjusting to little sis arrival and that to me just how much mature my little girl is. And in 2013, Naira is a big sister at 2 years old.

However, our joy did not last long. 2013 is the year that I lost someone very close and dear to me. My  Grandmum, the Matriarch of our family, passed away a day after my 31st Birthday. Her passing caused 2 things to happen to my family. It had brought me closer to my cousins. It also opened up my eyes to see the imperfections / tainted glass in our family. I shall not go into more details cause I would rather not talk about it. I have accepted her passing and she is forever in my memories and in my heart. It was also at this same time, my god-father found a cancer in him. He has been going for chemo and staying strong fighting it till now. My once fit go to god-father has turned into this skinny but still fit (thank god!) man. I am ever still grateful that he is around.

I came back from my maternity leave to a heavy load of work in school. However, I enjoyed the works that I'm doing and the people I am doing it with. Of course, nothing is perfect, there are some people who are pain in the ***. However, I am still glad that I got the opportunity to show my strength, work on my weaknesses and learn something new, everyday.

I enjoyed my holidays very much because I get to spend it with Soul and our 2 girls. We went to visit to lots of places and even manage to squeeze in a short trip to Batam with my besties! (read al about my holiday with my 2 girls in aworkingdevilmum.wordpress.com)

So now saying goodbye to 2013, is also saying goodbye  to me being 31. 2014 will be another year older.

Professionally, there will be a lot of new things waiting for me. I am embarking on a new role which I am definitely looking forward to!

Family, I will be welcoming a new niece earlier part of 2014. My girls will be 3 and 1 years old individually. We are planning for a family holiday at the end of the year. We will also be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary and hopefully getting the key to our new home soon.

Personally, I still have a lot of growing up to do. As a mummy, a wife, daughter, a teacher, a friend......I am not sure what 2014 will bring but I can only pray for more happiness and joys in my life.

So Goodbye 2013 and Hello 2014! Bring it on!