Turning 29 as a Mom

I have always been in denial when it comes to my age. Just ask the people who knows me. I have always believe that I've stopped aging at the age of 21. FOREVER 21! Whenever people ask my age, I would ask them to guess. When they guess a smaller number, I would give a wide smile and agree. And when they guess a bigger number, I would hit them on the head and tell them a smaller number. Hahahaha!

People keep telling me that "age is just a number". It is not ok! Everytime u age, the number gets bigger and you are suppose to be older and wiser, so how is it that "age is just a number"? However I do know that there are some people who is aging and yet still no wiser, so who am I complain!

Turning 29 as a MOM, wow! I have never could imagine myself as a MOM. I know some gerls who had imagined themselves being a mom since they were young and I envy them, cos they seemed prepared to be a mom. For me, even while pregnant, I never even try to imagine myself being a mom. I guess I thought having the baby is just like playing doll. I would do whatever I want according to how I want it. HA! Fat hope! It happens the other way round! Instead I have to do whatever she wants whenever she wants! I had no idea it would turn out this way.

So now at 29, as a MOM, life turns 360 degrees for me. No more good night sleeps, no more eating/drinking whatever I want (goodbye COKE!). No more shopping and spending my money anyhow. No more carrying my laptops wherever I go cos now my bag is full of diapers, extra clothes, powder and baby wipes! In fact, I had totally forgotten bout my birthday till last nite when I saw the advertisement for the latest movie sequel of "Pirates of the Carribean" which opens today. (There goes watching movie previews!) Actually, not only I had forgotten bout my birthday, my whole household has forgotten bout it cos the attention has shifted to HER. Haiii.....

I guess now I can forgot bout having the attention to myself. But Ishould not be complaining. Every minute spent with her is wonderful and precious. In fact, the best birthday present I got today, is when she finally smiles at me when I told her I love her so much. Its as seems she understands me!

I guess now, I am accepting turning 29 cos she is the best birthday present I can ever have and she is all mine. That is untill she turns 16 or 21 if I'm lucky! And that people, is PRICELESS!

Motherhood

I am finally adjusting to Motherhood. 3 weeks have gone just like that.

1st week was so difficult! Besides trying to recover from my pain, I have to endure new pain. Breastfeeding! Baby just wants to be fed every hour it seems. I could not think about the future but just take things day by day. But at the same time, I enjoy my time bonding with her. Everytime I hold her in my arms, I love her more everyday. No denying I was hit with post natal depression. However, it was never hating or blaming her for my pain. All I could think of was how could anyone want to go through the pain again and again. How could Mum had done it all be herself. I am lucky I have Soul who is very hands on with baby gerl. I can never imagine how those women who does not have the supportive husbands.

2nd week got better. I was slowly recovering and getting back my strengh. I was able to move around more. My body was already adjusting to the sleepless nights and taking naps in the afternoon. This time round, I keep thinking on how to leave baby gerl and get back to work. I love her more and more every minute and can't imagine leaving her for a minute. She is just so adorable! Soul has taken the time to learn to bath her and he so enjoy getting the time to bond with her every morning during their bath time.

Now in our 3rd week, we love every minute we get with her. I know its tough for Soul at times to leave for work cos he just loves her so much and I know he feels like he is missing alot when not spending times with her. Maybe thats why he does not mind waking up in the middle of the night and changing her. I love him lots too. I could never imagine life without him. Heck, I don't think I would be doing this if not for him.

We can't wait for her to grow up but at the same time, we are scared, and wish at times that she will not grow up. We keep taking photos of her just so we can keep every memory of her alive.

She is finally here!!!!

Gifts

All ready for baby gerl

Sleeping

Wif daddy

Aakifah Naira

She is finally here!!! After 9 months of waiting (feels like my whole life) our baby gerl Aakifah Naira was born to us on the 10th April 2011 @ 1806. We just could not believe it!

Ok not going to talk bout the pain. Moving on......

Our stay @ Thomson Medical Centre was lovely. I could not sleep the first night maybe cos of all the excitement (and maybe pain). I keep hearing babies crying cos my room was just next to the nursery. However, when they bring in our baby gerl, she was wide awake and not crying. She is so beautiful! It is so amazing how she could be just her. She has our features and hopefully she has our traits!

We had so many visitors! We definately love the prezzies! HER grandma is so happy! She keeps carrying and kissing her. HER daddy is definately over the world. He so loves her it is just so translucent.

I am definatley adjusting to motherhood. So far so good. Although there are so many concerns, I am just going to enjoy my time with her right now. Worry bout other things later.....

Still Waiting

My Dearest Baby, Please don't make us wait anymore. Mummy and Daddy so cannot wait to see and hold you. Do come out early so we can have lots of fun!! You are so heavy now. Initially Mummy was worried that you were not putting on weight, but now, Mummy is having a hard time carrying you a round. Hahahaha.... We have everything ready for you and everyones so excited to see you. Don't get so comfy please!!! Love, Mummy

Is it Time??

It feels weird to be at home doing nothing. I miss work definately....but I guess it is more peaceful having not to worry bout work. ;P

Been looking through some pictures of friends with their babies. It makes me wonder how much life changes due to another human being. Friends who used to be so outgoing has turned into this motherly creatures and centers their world onto this another human being. Isn't it strange, how this one small creature can just turn your whole world around!

It had never crossed my mind that i would come to this stage either. I mean, all through growing up, all I can think/dream about was earning money to spend on the things that I never get to when I was at that stage. Or doing things that I never get to. But now.......
Of cos I still dream about going to other places, however, it now centers to whether i can bring the little one, or if I leave her, will I be able to enjoy myself.

Soul and me cannot wait for her to come out. For me it is because it tends to get more painful and uncomfortable having her inside. At other times, I just get worried about whats going on inside cos I can't see and do anything much to know whether everythings ok. For Soul, I guess, having a playmate is just a swell idea. LOL!! He is so going to be a great dad!


At times, I feel envy of friends who had started thier family earlier. I mean Babies are always cute and adorable. And I guess once they grow up, they can get easier if you know how to manage them. And I've heard this saying, "Everyones born to be a parent. Its whether u embrace it or not is another entire different thing."

Bro's 24th Bday

Ok this post is a little bit late cos I was busy going out and about.

Bro celebrated his 24th bday with a bbq at Lin's place. So its not by the beach but by the roadside, we still manage to have fun and eat alot of food!!! Uncle Fendi of cos was the bbq expert. We had lots of yummy chickens, prawns, hotdogs, otak-otak and satays. Aunt Rash and Uncle Salleh brought yummy durians!!! Not sure why usually I don't eat alot of durians but somehow that day the durians were super duper yummys!!!

We manage to sabo the bday boy who does NOT (how can anybody does not eat!) eat durian!!! Infront of all his friends some more! I think bor really had a good time cos its not often he had a bday party.......

The yummy BBQ

Busy BBQuing

Trying very hard to open the durian

SABO!!!

My Partying Days

This March holidays has been super super busy. I am suppose to be starting my Maternity leave and just rest @ home and started doing my work while I am away from school. BUT.....its the holidays!!!!

The 'Makciks' planned a "Surprise" Baby shower for me. At least they thought I was surprised (the trick to surprising people is not to EVER talk about it infront of them!) Hahahaha. They brought me out to lunch first in town. We ate @ Swensen's ION which was surprisingly empty! We had different dishes so that we could all try out. Kak Su and Kak Lin also had the Ice cream / Dessert buffet which Soul & Me had always wanted to try but it was always crowded when we went! However didn't have the stomach to eat it that day ;(

And then they brought me to Gallery Hotel where they have decorated the room with my baby's gifts. Aawwwww...I was actually very touched reading the notes they pasted to make a scrapbook. And I guess I missed my 2 gerls who are not around on that day.......

Lunch @ ION Swensens

The yummy cheesecake cupcake

The very touching notes scrapbook

My gifts

Dressing me up silly!

The 'Makciks'

Baby's things

Went baby shopping today with Mum, sis and bro. Chaos!! But very fun! So many nice things...wish I have the money and place to spend on her. However, I know it is unnecessary.

Bought the important things like clothings and finally decided on a playpen/bed. Ok lah hopefully it can last untill baby gerl bigger! The rest of the things can wait for people to give. Muahahahaha!

Baby gerls playpen. Unfortunately does not comes in pink!

Karokeing/Movie Marathon

Had our monthly karaokeing/movie marathon at Aunt Rash's place today. She cooked yummy asam pedas ikan pari with sotong masak hitam (both my favourites!!). Had a big serving and then baby in tummy fell asleep while we watch "Prince of Persia" and "You Again".

"Prince of Persia" was not bad. Surprisingly I was kept in my seat. Jake Gyllenhal looks good with the long hair after a while too.

Unfortunately, had to leave early cos Soul is performing his Capoeira at our CCK sunshine place.

Maybe its time for a change

Work is begining to sux big time. I mean I still love the kids and what I am doing for them but at times, I begin to wonder if its really for these kids future. The changes made does not make sense at time and I begin to wonder if its just me.

It is damn irritating to see that the people rewarded are the same group of people who does not seem to ever make much effort for the children. I mean, they complained when they have extra work, when they have to come on sats and hols, they've never voluntered their time more than when needed and they are not as committed as some other teachers I've seen. Does doing paperwork really matters? Handing them on time? Sheesh no wonder they have no time to volunteer and are always rushing home. Because they have to polish their paperworks so it will look good. I guess it does not matter if the paperworks just does not benefit the children.

Its no wonder all the good, hardworking teachers left/are leaving. Maybe its time for me too.....

34 weeks and counting down

Ok I've carried her for 34 weeks. Can you imagine it?? I can't! I still can't believe at times how miraculously (is that how you spell??) it works! She is moving alot more now. Its not only kicking,but literally MOVING. At times, my tummy looks like a big wave moving from one side to another. At other times, I can literally feel her kicking my kidney, stomach, liver........The pain at times is so unbearable!!

Really can'twait for her to comes out. Everyone predicts that she will comes out earlier than planned. Although I am concerned bout the pain I have to go through, I hope she will not make us wait long either. But maybe not too early!

Everyone seems so excited for us that it is so scary. It seems as if so much is expected out of this baby gerl. What if she does not turns out the way everyone expects her. Then how??

For me, I am not sure what to expect. I just hope everythings turns out alright.

New Year, new resolutions, new dreams.....

Happy 2011!!

Its been a good year, 2010. So many good things happen personally. One year of marriage and am still loving every minute it. Although alot of things planned didn't come true, I am glad for the things that did.

Got to go Phuket. Soul's first time on the aeroplane. Am glad we did it! Although it was not as good as how I thought Phuket would be, we had a good time cos its just the 2 of us ;).

I manage to run a short 5k marathon. Been wanting to do it so am glad that I manage to do it this year.

Work has been good. Learnt alot, experience alot. I know where i stand in my carreer and that matters most. Others things that happen at work are just passee.

Can't believe I got pregnant! Did not plan for it at all! We definately enjoyed having time to ourselves. Now planning for a family, is another big step for both of us. Changes is undeniable. We so looking forward to it and for me personally, I get to experience it all.

This year I have only one resolution; to get my fit body back once I've delivered! And I know it will be the biggest challenge ever........