Sunshines in my life

A month has passed since Baby Girl was born. Life has been full of ups and downs. It has not been easy yet it has not been that difficult compared to some others I know. The only challenge I am facing right now is more about managing my time.

With 2 beautiful girls, I need to learn to give my time fairly to spend with both of them. Our Little Gerl will turn 2 soon. At this age, she has shown so much cleverness and maturity (sometimes). She is now able to tell what she wants, needs and nots. Her love for baby sis is amazing! She is able to call her name 'Arissa', helps with throwing the diapers and even when baby sis cries in the middle of the night, she would wake up and give baby sis a kiss, as if assuring her that everything will be alright, before returning to her sleep. I could not have been more grateful for having her........

I cannot wait to return to work and get my routine back. However, there is that slight hesitation, I can't help wonder how my mum going to handle 2 toddlers with a 4 month old baby once I start working. Even though I know she is capable of doing it, I am just worried that they will exhaust her. And I wonder if baby girl could take bottle milk.

I keep saying this, but I have never imagined myself being a mum, whats more a mother of 2. Although the feeling is amazing, there are times when I honestly wish I had more time to spend with myself or with Soul before having to handle 2 of them. I can't help but envy my friends at times who still are enjoying their lives travelling. Mum keeps telling us to go ahead and travel while the kids still young and we can leave them with her. But the motherly part of me are still anxious when it comes to leaving them behind. Haish.....its hard to be a mum!

So now that we are still only a month, I am learning to enjoy every minute spending with my 2 girls. Whether it is during our night time feeding or toilet training, I am grateful for the 2 sunshines in my life and I could not ask for more.........