2nd week and still counting

2nd week was the most stressing week I ever had with my Baby Gerls. Besides adjusting to having 2 princess and getting over the pain, small baby girl was found to have high jaundice in her in her first week. Due to this, she was warded in the hospital for 2 nights. And for that 2 nights, Soul and I experienced every parents nightmares: To be separated from their child before they are ready to.

Haish it was really depressing! And then even after we brought her back, for the whole week we kept a very close eye on her. She was sunned, bathe with some flowers thingy and fed with formula milk which was a struggle (she kept spitting it back to our face!). However when we brought her back to her Paediatrician, we were assured that its normal for babies who has jaundiced and breastfed to recover later. Thankfully now she is recovering nicely.

On another side, our Big Gerl seems to be adjusting well to little sis. She seems to enjoy having her little sis around and keeps kissing her (thats the cute part!). However it tends to get irritating on my part cos she was having difficulties sleeping at night. She just wants to kiss her little sis and rub her hair on little sis's face. Besides that, her energy level seems to be extremely high! She would be wandering, climbing and messing up the house at every chance she can get! I am sooooo exhausted chasing after her and I don't have to do anything else ok! 

At the same time, I hate my confinement period! Ok I don't mind having to control the food and drinks I have to take. I also don't mind not having to go out, although I can't wait to get back to work! What I hate so much is I am not allowed to shower as many times as I like! OMG! I so cannot stand my smell! According to the 'pantangs' I only allowed to shower once because the cold water is not good for my recovering body. That is why I am not allowed to drink cold water as well. Haish and with this weather some more! I am so counting down to the end of it!

Finally!

Finally.......our 2nd Baby Gerl, Arissa Nailah Bte Anis was born to us on 13 Feb 2013, 3 weeks earlier than predicted. Man, my doc is really good at predicting!

Although this time round it seems the waiting period is shorter, the pain still seems endless! Haish....again not going to talk and recollect my memory on the pain but I can promise you, this is going to be the last time! I really, really, REALLY don't want to go through the pain again! (Soul please be reminded again!)

On another note, I really feel blessed to have these 2 small creatures in my life. Even with the pain, I AM grateful to have gotten through it. People keep asking me to have another one just to try for another boy. And I am telling these people, its ok, I already have a boy - Soul.

Our 1st Baby Gerl, seems so in love with her little sister. She can't seem to stop kissing her whenever she can. She is very helpful when it comes to changing diapers. She does not seemed affected that the attention is not all on her anymore. In fact, she seems more independent, at being all left alone to entertain herself. Although there were still some mischiefs on her part. (She was caught drinking someone's left over coke!)

Difference in both girls - Arissa seems more of a sleeper than the eater. Since the first night, she does not seems to want to be fed. Although she does cries, she seems more settled after being wrapped and hold to sleep. I kind of remembered Naira needed to be fed for almost every hour and she refused to be wrapped! But then again it is still too early to see much difference.

I guess in my part, 2 years ago seems so long that I can't remember much of the details to compare. Back then, I just want to get through the pain! So I still have a few more weeks to get through the confinement. I really can't wait to eat and drink anything I want, to be active again, although I won't say to do whatever I want, I really can't wait for my routine to be stabled once more.

Frustration

Feeling frustrated right now.

Coming to my last trimester. Hate the waiting game. Whats more with Soul not around.

Emotions are running high since I am deprived from so many things. Beginning to feel that life is so unfair. The sacrificies I have to make.....

While Hubby is away.....

Haish......

Soul is away (again!) leaving me and baby girl all on our own! Ok lah, not really on our own cos I still have my mum with us.

But today we are really on our own cos my Mum has got her religious teachings on every sunday. Luckily Baby Gerl is easy especially with her cartoons on. She will just watch the cartoon and entertain herself, which gives me the time to complete my work.

And now she is taking her nap and I have completed my work so maybe I should take a nap!

On another note, thinking about Soul not going to be around for the next whole weeks is giving me nightmares! Cos the last time Soul was away, I had a hard time with Baby Gerl especially the nights. I know she misses him lots and she has no idea how to express it. She keeps getting up in the middle of the night crying! It so breaks my heart! Even during the day she was so clingy! Luckily during that period it was the school holiday so it was still tolerant.

This time around however, I am still left with 2 more weeks of working before I go for my maternity leave. So I am not sure how I am going to handle the lack of sleep for this whole week!

Haisshhh this time I am really wishing that time will fly faster!

Fifty Shades

Ok I finally finished reading the trilogy e-books of Fifty Shades. I know i know it is so last year, but better late than never!

The only reason I started reading the book was because it seems like alot of peeps I know has read it and there was quite a few shades of comments or reviews about the book that finally intrigue me enough to know what is it all about. (Anyway very free also lah!)

So, when I first started reading the e-book, I know nothing about the characters or how and what the story is about. Ok thats a lie! I know it has some sexual contents BUT not on what kind of sexual contents.

Anyway, when I started reading, I thought the 2 main characters were almost similar to Bella and Edward from Twilight. Both Bella and Ana were shy, no confidence, no sense of fashion and virgins when it comes to relationship. Both Edward (swoons!!!) and Christian were damn too rich too be true, good looking with girls falling on their feet, overprotective kind of guys. Heck, initially I thought it was another vampire falling in love with a mortal kind of story.

However, I was interested really on how the characters evolve in their relationship together. Of course the sexual contents were interesting. I learn a lot about sexual things that I have never known before. It is very interesting how this domineering and submissive sex can be. I would rather however take a vanilla sex anytime than to try out all the pain to get pleasure. But I don't mind my vanilla sex with some chocolate sauce or whip cream ;)

But it was how the relationship between Ana and Christian that kept me reading. In fact I was so into sharing the story with hubby (not the sexual content part lah).  But being a guy of course he not interested.

There are certain parts of the book when I feel frustrated reading about the characters. I mean, I can't understand how Ana can be so weak and just refuse to tell Christian off from controlling her especially when it comes to her career wise. When I commented to hubby, all he can say is "She is not like you lah."

Seriously? You mean there are women who likes to be dominated? Of course, I am aware that there are some husbands who does dominate their wives (whether sexually or not, I don't want to know!) And I am aware that there are still wives who are very submissive to their husbands even despite gotten hurt, they are still loyal and submissive. How they can be like that is still a big question to me! Luckily, I live in a world and a generation where women, most of the time have their own rights or almost equal to men. If not, I could not imagine what/how my life would turn out to be!

My Prayers For 2013

Ya Allah,

My prayers for 2013 will be:

1. Let me give birth to my second princess safely with less pain.

2. Let me always be close to you and never waiver from my faith in you. Give me the strength I need to be a good mother, a good wife and a good daughter/daughter-in-law.

3. Let my darling daughters be healthy and fit. Let them know only joys and laughters, and take away their pains and hurts.

4. Give my hubby the strength he needs to be a good father, a good husband and a good son/son-in-law. Give him the strength and health always, as he is, and will be providing for the family.

5. Please let the journey of our marriage be smooth, but if we were have to go through obstacles, give us the strength and show us the right way to solve it.

6. Keep my families (including uncles, aunties, cuzzies, gramps, in-laws)) and love ones (including friends / colleagues) safe as always. Provide them with all the things that they need and show them the way to work hard for the things that they want. Give them the strength to go through the life that you have planned for them and let them not waiver form their faith in you.

7. For the people that has had a miserable 2012, give them the strength and courage to face 2013 with optimism. Let them find the peace and salvation they need to get on with life. Give them more joy and laughters to take away their pains.

8. In the end, let there be more peace to the world, so the future generations have something to be grateful for!

Are our children spoil because........

Are our children spoilt because of the many choices they are given to decide or because of parents who gave them the many choices?

Once upon a time, I used to tell myself, "I will not spoil my children!" But now as a parent, I have trouble trying to decide whether the decisions I make, to give in or not, to baby girl, will make her a spoilt child. Hubby and I debate about this at times. To me, decisions should be made by us parents as we are the adults. Hubby however feels that children have the right to make their own decisions and choices. I agree but only decisions and choices to minor things and not to major things in life!

In my years as an educator, as an adult, I have seen my shares of spoilt and pampered children. They also varied at ages. I used to think that a crying child is a spoilt child. A child given everything he/she wants is a spoilt child. Let me explain why I thought that way.

Growing up as the eldest in a not so rich family (Dad was the sole breadwinner and not really highly educated), I was brought up with the rule, "If you want something, you have to earn or save for it." It is a rule that I believed in and I teach my students in school. Since I am also not the smartest in the family, getting what I want takes some times. In some cases, I have learnt not to want it. Maybe that is why I tend to buy what ever I want now that I am earning myself.

But I guess time has changed. Since most parents nowadays are educated, and mostly both parents are working, children these days are given a lot more compared to children my times. Also technologies have to be blamed one way or another. So again, back to my question, are our children spoil because of the many choices they are given to decide or because of parents who gave them the many choices?

Why am I questioning this is because I have seen children making decisions for their parents. It tends to boggle me because I thought as parents, we decide what is good and bad for our children. I mean we are the adults right?

In one scenario, at a simple eatery restaurant, a waiter asked a chinese family where they would like to seat. The father turned to his young son (about 10 years old) "Where do you want to seat Boi?" In my head, why do you ask a child to decide where to seat? Its not as if the chairs and tables are different. And you know what, for a family of 4, the Boi, picked a seating area for 6. The extra seats are meant for him to put up his leg while eating.

In another scenario, at a KFC eatery, a Malay mother asked her young daughter (about 9 years old), what she wants to eat. The young daughter told the mum she wants to eat the chicken with rice with the tomato sauce. However, that meal is Spicy tomato sauce (but come on! how spice can tomato sauce be?) and Mum is concerned that daughter could not handle spicy. Now in my heart, this sparks my first questions to many, at that age daughter still don't know how to eat spicy? So daughter said she wants the original mushroom sauce but without the mushroom and with tomato sauce. At this point, all I could think of, better just ask the mum to cook at home! The best thing was, the mum actually asked the KFC server if they can have the meal with the original tomato sauce! I was really dumbfounded at how the mum handled that situation. I mean, come on! This is KFC! They are fast food! Everything is pre-cooked and just ready to serve! I mentally slapped my forehead and prayed that I would not end up being that silly!

I can share many more scenarios but then it will take the whole night and day to do so! I know as parents, we are encouraged to teach our children to make choices to prepare them for life. Me and hubby are guilty at starting letting Baby Gerl make choices at such an early age. However her choices are limited to watching either Toy Story or Shrek dvd. Watch either Magadascar 3 or Ice Age 4. Either you eat this or you don't eat at all. Either you picked up your toys or you don't get to watch tv. Choose to sleep with mummy and daddy or sleep with grandma and grandpa. There are times however, when she is not given a choice at all. Like no you have no choice but to sleep in your own bed. You have no choice but to go to sleep now cos Mummy is tired.

So will my daughter grow up to be spoilt? How will I be able to tell if I am making the right decisions for her and should I let her start making life's decisions at such a young age? And so the debate continues.......

Apple & ME

I guess I am very easily influence. So much for being strong headed.

 Hubby finally convinced me to get Mcbook so here I am blogging on my new mcbook pro all dressed in pink!


Here is Baby Mc laptop bag ;) Crumpler of cos!

Of cos my keyboard has to be pink! What else right? Still cannot figure out where my obsess for PINKs come from.....


Baby Mc still needs alot of get used to. Oh yes, I have named it Baby Mc cos hubby's is Daddy's Mc. Hahahahaha! The apps are all very interesting but I still cannot get my calendar and contacts to sync from my IPAD. So I am still trying to figure out alot of the things in it. I like that I know how to use the iPhoto and movie for my teaching resources. Its more of the personal thingy that I need to work on......

Been Awhile

It has been awhile since I last wrote. Not sure why but I was having a bit of problem with this blog so in the end I gave up. However, reading other people's blog made me missed writing down my thoughts. I started writing down in the journal, but that is only for my uttermost innermost feeling.

So here I am again.....

The year 2012 started out with new adventures. I have finally moved to WGS. Adapting to the school and environment was so easy surprisingly! Everyone was so warm and friendly. I do missed LGS but more of the comfort that I know people know who I am there. In the new place, I am still trying to put down my foot and build my profile. The work seems to be easier in a sense. I know how everything goes even though I am new. I guess because the system is there and it has worked for many years.

Now coming to the middle of the year, workload seems to be getting more but despite that I had a wonderful June holiday. I had fun doing lots of things and just spending time with Baby Gerl. Me and Soul had the whole Jun holiday planned all around her. We can't wait for december.......

Turning 29 as a Mom

I have always been in denial when it comes to my age. Just ask the people who knows me. I have always believe that I've stopped aging at the age of 21. FOREVER 21! Whenever people ask my age, I would ask them to guess. When they guess a smaller number, I would give a wide smile and agree. And when they guess a bigger number, I would hit them on the head and tell them a smaller number. Hahahaha!

People keep telling me that "age is just a number". It is not ok! Everytime u age, the number gets bigger and you are suppose to be older and wiser, so how is it that "age is just a number"? However I do know that there are some people who is aging and yet still no wiser, so who am I complain!

Turning 29 as a MOM, wow! I have never could imagine myself as a MOM. I know some gerls who had imagined themselves being a mom since they were young and I envy them, cos they seemed prepared to be a mom. For me, even while pregnant, I never even try to imagine myself being a mom. I guess I thought having the baby is just like playing doll. I would do whatever I want according to how I want it. HA! Fat hope! It happens the other way round! Instead I have to do whatever she wants whenever she wants! I had no idea it would turn out this way.

So now at 29, as a MOM, life turns 360 degrees for me. No more good night sleeps, no more eating/drinking whatever I want (goodbye COKE!). No more shopping and spending my money anyhow. No more carrying my laptops wherever I go cos now my bag is full of diapers, extra clothes, powder and baby wipes! In fact, I had totally forgotten bout my birthday till last nite when I saw the advertisement for the latest movie sequel of "Pirates of the Carribean" which opens today. (There goes watching movie previews!) Actually, not only I had forgotten bout my birthday, my whole household has forgotten bout it cos the attention has shifted to HER. Haiii.....

I guess now I can forgot bout having the attention to myself. But Ishould not be complaining. Every minute spent with her is wonderful and precious. In fact, the best birthday present I got today, is when she finally smiles at me when I told her I love her so much. Its as seems she understands me!

I guess now, I am accepting turning 29 cos she is the best birthday present I can ever have and she is all mine. That is untill she turns 16 or 21 if I'm lucky! And that people, is PRICELESS!

Motherhood

I am finally adjusting to Motherhood. 3 weeks have gone just like that.

1st week was so difficult! Besides trying to recover from my pain, I have to endure new pain. Breastfeeding! Baby just wants to be fed every hour it seems. I could not think about the future but just take things day by day. But at the same time, I enjoy my time bonding with her. Everytime I hold her in my arms, I love her more everyday. No denying I was hit with post natal depression. However, it was never hating or blaming her for my pain. All I could think of was how could anyone want to go through the pain again and again. How could Mum had done it all be herself. I am lucky I have Soul who is very hands on with baby gerl. I can never imagine how those women who does not have the supportive husbands.

2nd week got better. I was slowly recovering and getting back my strengh. I was able to move around more. My body was already adjusting to the sleepless nights and taking naps in the afternoon. This time round, I keep thinking on how to leave baby gerl and get back to work. I love her more and more every minute and can't imagine leaving her for a minute. She is just so adorable! Soul has taken the time to learn to bath her and he so enjoy getting the time to bond with her every morning during their bath time.

Now in our 3rd week, we love every minute we get with her. I know its tough for Soul at times to leave for work cos he just loves her so much and I know he feels like he is missing alot when not spending times with her. Maybe thats why he does not mind waking up in the middle of the night and changing her. I love him lots too. I could never imagine life without him. Heck, I don't think I would be doing this if not for him.

We can't wait for her to grow up but at the same time, we are scared, and wish at times that she will not grow up. We keep taking photos of her just so we can keep every memory of her alive.

She is finally here!!!!

Gifts

All ready for baby gerl

Sleeping

Wif daddy

Aakifah Naira

She is finally here!!! After 9 months of waiting (feels like my whole life) our baby gerl Aakifah Naira was born to us on the 10th April 2011 @ 1806. We just could not believe it!

Ok not going to talk bout the pain. Moving on......

Our stay @ Thomson Medical Centre was lovely. I could not sleep the first night maybe cos of all the excitement (and maybe pain). I keep hearing babies crying cos my room was just next to the nursery. However, when they bring in our baby gerl, she was wide awake and not crying. She is so beautiful! It is so amazing how she could be just her. She has our features and hopefully she has our traits!

We had so many visitors! We definately love the prezzies! HER grandma is so happy! She keeps carrying and kissing her. HER daddy is definately over the world. He so loves her it is just so translucent.

I am definatley adjusting to motherhood. So far so good. Although there are so many concerns, I am just going to enjoy my time with her right now. Worry bout other things later.....

Still Waiting

My Dearest Baby, Please don't make us wait anymore. Mummy and Daddy so cannot wait to see and hold you. Do come out early so we can have lots of fun!! You are so heavy now. Initially Mummy was worried that you were not putting on weight, but now, Mummy is having a hard time carrying you a round. Hahahaha.... We have everything ready for you and everyones so excited to see you. Don't get so comfy please!!! Love, Mummy

Is it Time??

It feels weird to be at home doing nothing. I miss work definately....but I guess it is more peaceful having not to worry bout work. ;P

Been looking through some pictures of friends with their babies. It makes me wonder how much life changes due to another human being. Friends who used to be so outgoing has turned into this motherly creatures and centers their world onto this another human being. Isn't it strange, how this one small creature can just turn your whole world around!

It had never crossed my mind that i would come to this stage either. I mean, all through growing up, all I can think/dream about was earning money to spend on the things that I never get to when I was at that stage. Or doing things that I never get to. But now.......
Of cos I still dream about going to other places, however, it now centers to whether i can bring the little one, or if I leave her, will I be able to enjoy myself.

Soul and me cannot wait for her to come out. For me it is because it tends to get more painful and uncomfortable having her inside. At other times, I just get worried about whats going on inside cos I can't see and do anything much to know whether everythings ok. For Soul, I guess, having a playmate is just a swell idea. LOL!! He is so going to be a great dad!


At times, I feel envy of friends who had started thier family earlier. I mean Babies are always cute and adorable. And I guess once they grow up, they can get easier if you know how to manage them. And I've heard this saying, "Everyones born to be a parent. Its whether u embrace it or not is another entire different thing."

Bro's 24th Bday

Ok this post is a little bit late cos I was busy going out and about.

Bro celebrated his 24th bday with a bbq at Lin's place. So its not by the beach but by the roadside, we still manage to have fun and eat alot of food!!! Uncle Fendi of cos was the bbq expert. We had lots of yummy chickens, prawns, hotdogs, otak-otak and satays. Aunt Rash and Uncle Salleh brought yummy durians!!! Not sure why usually I don't eat alot of durians but somehow that day the durians were super duper yummys!!!

We manage to sabo the bday boy who does NOT (how can anybody does not eat!) eat durian!!! Infront of all his friends some more! I think bor really had a good time cos its not often he had a bday party.......

The yummy BBQ

Busy BBQuing

Trying very hard to open the durian

SABO!!!

My Partying Days

This March holidays has been super super busy. I am suppose to be starting my Maternity leave and just rest @ home and started doing my work while I am away from school. BUT.....its the holidays!!!!

The 'Makciks' planned a "Surprise" Baby shower for me. At least they thought I was surprised (the trick to surprising people is not to EVER talk about it infront of them!) Hahahaha. They brought me out to lunch first in town. We ate @ Swensen's ION which was surprisingly empty! We had different dishes so that we could all try out. Kak Su and Kak Lin also had the Ice cream / Dessert buffet which Soul & Me had always wanted to try but it was always crowded when we went! However didn't have the stomach to eat it that day ;(

And then they brought me to Gallery Hotel where they have decorated the room with my baby's gifts. Aawwwww...I was actually very touched reading the notes they pasted to make a scrapbook. And I guess I missed my 2 gerls who are not around on that day.......

Lunch @ ION Swensens

The yummy cheesecake cupcake

The very touching notes scrapbook

My gifts

Dressing me up silly!

The 'Makciks'

Baby's things

Went baby shopping today with Mum, sis and bro. Chaos!! But very fun! So many nice things...wish I have the money and place to spend on her. However, I know it is unnecessary.

Bought the important things like clothings and finally decided on a playpen/bed. Ok lah hopefully it can last untill baby gerl bigger! The rest of the things can wait for people to give. Muahahahaha!

Baby gerls playpen. Unfortunately does not comes in pink!

Karokeing/Movie Marathon

Had our monthly karaokeing/movie marathon at Aunt Rash's place today. She cooked yummy asam pedas ikan pari with sotong masak hitam (both my favourites!!). Had a big serving and then baby in tummy fell asleep while we watch "Prince of Persia" and "You Again".

"Prince of Persia" was not bad. Surprisingly I was kept in my seat. Jake Gyllenhal looks good with the long hair after a while too.

Unfortunately, had to leave early cos Soul is performing his Capoeira at our CCK sunshine place.

Maybe its time for a change

Work is begining to sux big time. I mean I still love the kids and what I am doing for them but at times, I begin to wonder if its really for these kids future. The changes made does not make sense at time and I begin to wonder if its just me.

It is damn irritating to see that the people rewarded are the same group of people who does not seem to ever make much effort for the children. I mean, they complained when they have extra work, when they have to come on sats and hols, they've never voluntered their time more than when needed and they are not as committed as some other teachers I've seen. Does doing paperwork really matters? Handing them on time? Sheesh no wonder they have no time to volunteer and are always rushing home. Because they have to polish their paperworks so it will look good. I guess it does not matter if the paperworks just does not benefit the children.

Its no wonder all the good, hardworking teachers left/are leaving. Maybe its time for me too.....

34 weeks and counting down

Ok I've carried her for 34 weeks. Can you imagine it?? I can't! I still can't believe at times how miraculously (is that how you spell??) it works! She is moving alot more now. Its not only kicking,but literally MOVING. At times, my tummy looks like a big wave moving from one side to another. At other times, I can literally feel her kicking my kidney, stomach, liver........The pain at times is so unbearable!!

Really can'twait for her to comes out. Everyone predicts that she will comes out earlier than planned. Although I am concerned bout the pain I have to go through, I hope she will not make us wait long either. But maybe not too early!

Everyone seems so excited for us that it is so scary. It seems as if so much is expected out of this baby gerl. What if she does not turns out the way everyone expects her. Then how??

For me, I am not sure what to expect. I just hope everythings turns out alright.