Frustratingly f*** up

There is so much we can do......

Came home feeling emotionally drained. Before left school I called my favourite kid's mum concern that her attendance has been bad. The reason; she has skin problem. The kid loves to scratched herself when she's left at home. She doesn't do it in school maybe because we always manage to keep her occupied. Its really frustrating cos here I am trying to find ways to help her stop the habit whereas the mum refuse to send her to school because she is worried that I won't notice that her daughter would scratch herself. WHAT THE!!!! For her info I gave the daughter more attention that she does!! I have more heart pain than she does!! Can you believe it? She blames her daughter skin condition for her stress level when her daughter is no concern to her!! I've done so much to her and just when she was improving in so many areas, her mum has to refuse to send the daughter to school, causing her to regress. For all of your info, the scratch was just a tine one but because the mother was so smart to bandage her arm and causing the germs to stuck inside the wound thus causing her arm to be rotten with pus and all.

I told her that by sending the daughter to school, I could find ways to get her to stop scratching but the mum insist that there's nothing can be done to get her to scratch. The mum also insists that she keep her daughter occupied for 24 hours and holding her hand. Can you believe being stuck to your mum for 24 hours??!! If I also would scratch myself to death man like that!! I don't understand this parents. They want their child to be NORMAL but they won't help them to be NORMAL!! This world is sick man!!!

Giving up!! Must not let myself get to attached to her already. It just hurts so much when you've tried everything to help her yet there are PEOPLE factor that is hindiring you.

Kumar The Queen

Went to catch Kumar The Queen at the esplanade last night. Soo Shiok!!!! It was damn hilarious man. HE is DAMN HILARIOUS!!!! Me & Soul laughs our heads off.

There were so many people at the esplanade. We were sitting infront of the esplanade facing the merlion, waiting for break fast time, when this group of irritating Malay PUNKS came and sit beside us. AND you know what they did!!! They drank infront of us lah!!! IDIOTS!!!! They were mixing vodka with 7up and sharing it. There were about 6 or 7 of them and they bought only 1 bottle each and pour inside small plastic cup (the MCdonalds type) and distribute among themselves. So SILLY!!!! Obviously they were all underage. They were so irritating!!! Then one of them started vomiting. I was so pissed!!! Heeelllllo u only drank one small stupid cup and you were already vomiting!! So idiotic right. Wasting drinks only... hai PLEASE don't associate me & Soul to those idiots. We might have the same colour skin but there is no way in hell I would be associated to be of the same reliogous/race/even blood with them!!

Knowing that Happiness is just a wink away

Remember the hamster my dad found?? We named it Puteh (white) cos of its white fur. Ok its pampered like hell k!! Now it won't eat from its food container. Instead it will wait for either me or my sis to feed it!!! Soul has been reading from the net bout Hamster and he suggested that I try to get it eating from my hand to get it more friendly with me. So silly me, decided to try it out. So there I was, with food in my hand, with the cage door open, coaxing Puteh out. Then guess what!! It bit me!!! Pain siak!!! Luckily no blood....hai...see lah trying to be so clever right!!

On another note, Me and Soul has been writing things down for our wedding preparation. Wah lau so many things to get ready!! We've also counted our money and decided on the month. Only waiting for him to talk to his mum and agreeing to it. We are so excited cos we finally getting things going. My dad and mum is so supportive, keep assuring us not to worry so much bout the money. But at least now with the money already accounted for, its actually a big load off my mind. Now can relax abit and just take things one step at a time ;P

What a week

Man what a week! Been sooooooooo busy with school man!

Ok I have to write this down cos I think its begining to freak me out.

The day after THE engagement, Dad woke me up super early to ask whether I had brought back cats with me the nite(went out with Naz and hubby and Hamdan together with Soul for a late nite supper) before (I used to bring back kittens I found under the block)? . I answered sleepily "What cats?" And then went out to the corridor and 2 fat cats (male & female) were miowing. They were sooo cute and super frienly!!!! Dad fed them the leftover food. One of them actually ran into our house and Mum started screaming at us to get the cats out. So all of us woke up to catch the cat. And boy I think the cat was freaked out by Mum's screaming. They sat outside our house the whole day, hiding underneth our flower pots. They slept in the afternoon sun with the male cat's paw hugging the female one. It was soooooo sweet. So like Soul whenever he sleeps his hand will surely around me one! hahahaha

Anyway they stayed the night and disappeared the next day. But they came back again in the night. Eeerily scary. I mean how did they knew it was our house, how did they get to the same spot the same floor??? Mum didn't like them to stay outside the house cos they might get use to it, so me and Dad and Aidil had to bring them down and I got scratched!! So sad!!! I went to my room, called Soul and cried cos I was getting attached to them and didn't like the idea they were being chased away. It was so bad ok that I dreamt of cats that night!!!

The next day on the way home from giving tuition Dad called and said he found a white hamster underneth the flower pots and asked if we want to keep it. So me & Sis kept it and she so attached to it that she pampers it like mad!! Bought new cage, food, equipment to brush the hamster. Hai......

So the hamster is now in our room cos Mum said 'kesian' in the hall very hot and our room is much cooler. Crazy man!!! Ok now the weird thing is that for the last couple of days, the cats came back!!!! Eeerriiii!!!! We still can't figure it out how they got to our 15th floor. Am trying not to feed it cos I'm worried I get too attached to it and won't want to let them go later.

It is so weird!!! Dad said it could be a good sign cos its after our engagment and the TWO cats were found outside our door. Normally you seldom can see 2 stray cats getting along with each other. So I'm praying and hoping and taking it as a good sign about me and Soul. ;)

A night out

Had a blasts!!

Met up with Fad and Khairizal at town for breaking fast and also to celebrate Fad's leaving for Germany. Izzah wasn't able to make it cos she can't find anyone to babysit her 2 babies ;(

I went to TAKA first to get somethings and....there was so many nice things!!!! I hate it when I can't shop!!! There is always so many crazy nice things that I can't get ;(

Anyway got Fad a frame with the picture of 4 of us (Me, Fad, Khairizal & Izzah) taken two years ago as a goodbye and advance birthday present. Then met up with Fad at Paragon's coffee bean before we head out to Far east to 'chop' place for breaking fast. Waited for Khairizal. He came like a storm talking non-stop. He's hilarious man!!! After breaking fast we head out to LIDO Mc where we chill and tok bout good old days. Can't believe its 12 years of friendship!!!! Man we are so old!!!

We parted our ways around 9. Initially wanted to take the bus home but Khairizal offered to send me home on his scooter. First time get to ride on his bulldog!!!!! It was hilariously scary. No offense dude but you are just recovering from an accident.

Soul would have enjoyed this chilling session, unfortunately he had his Capoeira class. Gonna miss the dudes cos its getting very rare for us to meet up nowadays.

Engagement

People has been askin me why I did not update my blog and post my engagement details. Just can't be bothere cos been too busy with work. Not really feel like talking bout it so will just let the pics talk........


Granddaughters with grandma

1st Grandchild

The Family

The Food

My gifts for him


Wif sis-in-law putting in the ring

Soul's cuzz

Sis-in-law's gifts for me

The Ring

At The END of the DAY

Alulu's Wedding

The hols is here!!!!

Teacher's Day celebration is finally over. Was head of the committee (AGAIN!!). Was a bit woried at how it would turn out cos there was quite a chaos initially. Didn't want to repeat what I did last year so had to come up with something new and exciting this year. We decorated the school hall with peictures of the teachers with bodies of magazine models. Turned out to be really successful since there was a lot of comments from the teachers and parents.Wahahahahaha!!!!!
The concert was really cool thanx to the teachers' hard work of putting the pupils up to perform. I think my committee really did well this year (a pat on the back for you guys).




Wooohhooooo!!!!

Alulu finally got married. 1 down 1 more to go (left you Rach!!!)


Me and Naz before Alulu said her 'I dos'


Signing her freedom as a single woman

Putting on the ring


Friends forever, married and all

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Gosh we used to shop and lepak togetherzzz and now both Alulu and Naz are married ;)
Really missed those days....Don't think we'll ever be free as we used to be ;(
So exciting. So happy for her.

Rock Climb

My body aching like mad!!

Went rock climbing with my students and colleagues as part of our edusave outing.
It rocks man. Haven't done this for sooooo long!!!! It still did not make me NOT afraid of heights. I thinks the teachers are more excited than the kids.

Trying very hard to hang on

Ms Kaiyah posing while climbing

Mrs Chia all the way

My "Golden Boy" made it all the way. So proud of him!!!

They also did Flying Fox (which I totally skip cos I'm soo gonna get nightmares!!!)










We had so much fun!!!


Hectic hectic.....still got the Teacher's Day celebration coming up. Food to prepare, decorations to put up,a concert to plan.......still got one more week to hang on to.

2 more weeks to go.....

Really burnt out
Feeling exhausted
Anytime can just knock out
Don't think I should wake up soon

Nonsense from the children
Crap from the parents
The things we have to put up with
As a teacher as a guider

2 more weeks to hang on to..........

National Day Itself

Spent National Day itself at other people's house. First up spent at the kids house. Uncle K and their mum were doing the cooking so we just go there to eat. ;) Yummy food man...we had sweet sour fish, black pepper prawns, Oats prawns, Chicken masak merah, fried chicken, nasi briyani.....such funny food combination but we just eat!!!

The highlight of the day was the visit to Mrs Mara's condominium at Novena. She lived on the 24th storey and the view was just.....WOW!! Was very excited cos heard lots of wonderful things bout her place. The sceneric view was very nice. You can see everything from there (ok lah maybe not everything lah). We can see the CDB area (our fav place), the esplanade, toa payoh, pasir ris (at least the outline of the flats). While watching the parade (on tv), we get to see the helicopters flying past with the national flag LIVE, the parachuters dropping from the sky LIVE and the different planes flying past LIVE! But the best thing was of course the fireworks!!! Although the ambience is different but somehow its a nice change from the usual crowded ambience.

Then yest went to Geylang to look for my baju for the 'thingy' in sept. Went with Soul, my mum, Cik Ras and Cik Salleh. Got a bit of a headache initially cos my mum and Cik Ras and ME have different taste. So we went to so many different shops, trying out different costumes. We finally went to Joo Chiat and the first shop we went in I tried out 2 sets of costumes and finally all os us agreed on something. It is a bit $XXX but its worth it!!!

So excited both me and Soul.

National Day

Had a weird dream.Dreamt of my late Uncle Rosli.
Dreamt my late Uncle send me a msg before he passed away.
I wish he did. I wish I knew what was going on with him during his last few days.
Cried in the dream. Realise I was still crying when I woke up.
I miss him so much.

Shopping!!!!

Had a crazy day.......

We started out our day shopping at far east. Leftfoot at far east is having this crazy shoes sale so I brought my bro to get a pair of shoes since he has been using his older bro ones (its amazing how big boys can grow in a few months!!!). The shoes (branded ok!) that was priced over $100 was selling at around $60 so of cos must grab. Too bad no nice women shoes.

Then we headed out to Borders Fish & Co (my all time fav!!) for lunch. Its been awhile since we had eaten there. I so miss the fish & chips and seafood platter.



Then went to meet up with Nor at Taka during her lunch break. Taka was damn packed!! Forgot that today was Saturday. Sent Soul to go and get T-shirts for my bro cos I wanted to have girl talk with Nor. So managed to spent an hour with her. She looked damn tired and stressed. Poor mummy-to-be. I still can't believe she's pregnant!!

After that we head out to the LIME flea market beside Cineleisure. Went crazy with accessories today. I bought 2 necklaces and 2 bangles and already spent close to $50!! Then we head up to the 9th floor of Cineleisure to get my ODM watch (Soul's gift to me). Been waiting to get my hands on it for a year already but now feel so sayang to wear it cos its just too cool!!!



Mum actually shreaked when I showed her the watch and told her we were thinking of using th watch as a exchange gift for the engagement. She said it looks too toyish. Opinions anyone???

After that we went to Suntec to watch The Simpsons. Ok its a crap show with crap lines but its entertaining and there was a plot behind it all. I guess once in a while its good to watch this kind of show cos it makes you not think for a while. Especially good for people who is stressed and need to relax, like me. Hahahahaha.

Later we rushed to Marina Square to catch the fireworks. Along the way we managed to catch the parade peple parade in the suntec. And by parade people I mean the Armies, the Navies, the Police, the kids in the uniform group. Call me 'Jakun' but I've never went to a National Day parade before so was very excited and kiasu at the same time.

Ok if you want to catch the fireworks the best place would be at the steps outside Marina Square. But on the NAtional Day, be prepared for the crowd. Today was the preview and it was horrible!!!. What's more they actually cordoned off the steps area so there was limited space. Although I must say fireworks in Singapore is getting common cos there seems to be fireworks on every occasion (Singapore must really be having so much money to spend), there are still elements of surprise here and there. I'm not gonna tell you but watch out for 3 high rise buildings at Shenton Way.

Sorry if you find this post to be a bit messy and seems hurried. Cos you see I just got my hands on the final Harry Potter book and I've already started to read the book. So you see my mind is already on the book, trying to figure out or anticipate what is going to happen to Harry and his armies. (I think I will sleep with the book under my pillow for fearing my sibs will get their hands on it.)

SSSuuuppperrrr BBBZZZZZ

What a week man!!!

Ok where do I start??!!
Been supeer busy for the past week. Besides trying to get used with the new P in school, I was also been extra busy by attending a 3 1/2 (Sat-tues) day course; Disables Track & Field Technical and Coaching Course 2007
Super chim siak. Wasn't really so enthusiastic about attending the course cos Faz couldn't attend initially due to some fuck up by the management. But me and Mr Ravi went all the way trying to convince the VP to let her attend. When we finnaly thought of giving up, we realise that we should have shown them the timetable and told them that the course actually ends at around 12 on the last day. So printed out the timetable and got Faz to show the VP who finally agreed to let her go. Yeah!!

The course was ok lah. Actually we were quite blur on the first day cos we no NUTS about track and field. But manage to survive the 3 LONG (9 to 5) days. Hai there goes my weekend. On happier notes, we got to rub shoulders with big people of the track and field. We got coaches who were sprinters na drunners during their younger days. Get to meet up close (yet not personal) with our own paralympic champion wheelchair sprinter, Firdaus. He is soooo cute!!!! He is I think 4 th in world wide class (for paralympic).

Soul's family (his mum, sis, aunt and uncle to be precise) came to meet my family on last sat. Was very nervous cos its the first time they meeting. (Although his uncle and aunt knew my Cik Salleh and Cik Ras). I think my aunts are more excited than me. Supe chaotic!!! Both of us (me and Soul) got everything planned for the engagement. We want everything done in our own way so we really talk about it and just got our family members to agree on it. Hehehehehe.......

We are going to clebrate Racial Harmony tomorrow and guess what we had to do??? We had to show or present on the different marriage customs. The best thing is that my level had to do Malay wedding. I am the only malay teacher in that level and I have no clues on whatsoever bout malay wedding cos I'm not married yet. So how ironic is that. But we definately gonna have lots of fun.

Went to watch Harry Potter at Vivo City Gold Class. Waliau so shiok man. The seats were so comfy that I could fall asleep if it weren't for the movie and the cute Daniel Radcliff.I can't believe they grew up so fast!!! The movie was great!!! Superb man now can't wait for the book!!!!

Pink PSP

Damn Shiok!!!

Its been one crazy weekend. Just got our pay and the GST money, we suddenly found ourselves loaded. Hahahahaha....that was before we paid our bills and set aside certain amount into our saving ;)

I can't remember how it started but we were so adamant to get the PINK PSP. SO we head out to Sim Lim on Sat to look around for cheap prices. Can you believ it, that there is actually many versions to various price range!!! There is some that can download from the internet, there is others that can upgrade and downgrade lah. I can't believe its so difficult. Why can't they just have one PSP version!!!! So leceh. We finally came to a ALL ladies shop selling PSP. This girl she explains to me the different versions, the different downloads, the different softwares lah, which actually make sense after awhile.

After debating for 15 minutes standing by the escalator, going through all the pros and cons of getting the PSP, and whether we will have enough money for the rest of the month, we finally decided to get the PINK PSP. I can't believe the hassle and everything.

Both me and Soul were so excited. We got the ladies to download some games for us on spot so we can play the games immediatly. Unfortunately, they don't have the game I sooo want. Haiii......anyway, soul and I can't seem to put the bloody PSP down. Its so addictive man!!! SO finally Soul won't feel so bored going home in the rain anymore ;)


Me & my PINK PSP


Soul so engrossed in the game!!!

SHIt The Hols are gone!!!

I can't believe it....its already a month since the hols started and we HAVE to go back to sch on monday ;(
HAi.......i've just finish my lesson plan for the first 2 weeks but have not yet started on the IEPs.....
anyone any idea how many short term goals we need to set this semester?? I forgoten already siak!!AAAAGGGGHHHH

I can't seem to remember what I've done this hols. Everything seems so blury....

Lots of things gonna change once school re-opens. Realities begining to sink in now. Life gonna suck big time cos me and Soul gonna have to go through the biggest challenge in our life. Yes....finally everyones wildest dream gonna come true....Soul has proposed and we've already set the date for our engagement and wedding although I'm not gonna reveal it yet till everyting is comfirmed by both families. Hahahahaha...so stay tune ya.



Hugzzzz from both of us....

A month is gone

I can't believe its already more than a month since Amoi came back to Singapore with little Phoebe. Time sure flies....
Little Phoebe and me


Isn't she cute??!!!
Went to the airport early sunday morning to see Amoi and Phoebe off (Thier flight was at 11.30 am). Me and Soul bought her this one pair of shoes for little Phoebe cos her mum doesn't like to wear shoes for her. Hahahaha....

So after seeing them off, both of us were starving!!!! We went to look for the Merrybrown chicken that we remembered was somewhere around. But we couldn't find it!! They've closed!!!! Boo hoo!!!! Then we saw Popeye and it was Halal!!! I can't believe its halal already and I didn't know about it......Khairizal keep pissing me of that time when he just came back from New Orleans and keep telling us about the Popeye's chicken there. Excitedly, me and Soul bought the 2 piece meal and a shrimp burger meal (can u believe it?? Shrimp burger???). It was HEAVEN.....I can't believe how yummy it tastes. The mashed potato is *drooling....hmmmmm even now I can still remember the taste of that meal. We were so excited and greedy to eat that we forgot that I wanted to take a pic of the meal.

Rach now I understand why u have to get ur weekly dosage of Popeye. If Anis were to have a car, I would make him drive me all the way to the airport too. Hai.....maybe we will go there again this weekend....

After that we head out to town to catch The Fantastic 4. Ok lah its not really so vavavoom as many people said. But I do agree that the silver surfer is one sexy dude and he really is amazing with the board. Then we walk around to look for things that I can shop. Haiyah nothing much that really caught my eyes (surprisingly).

I can't believe there is only a few more days before the sch reopens. I wish the holidays never end......

Outing with my aunts

Went Geylang with my grandma and aunts today....Had quite a fun time just gossiping about people and all. Aunt Ras had won a $1000 voucher from taking part in a lucky draw. Gram had bought jewellery the last time they went there and had gotten the lucky draw tickets but had put the name under my aunt's name. So since my Aunt had won the ticket from Gram's money, she let Grams decide what to do with the winning ticket.
So Grams decided to get her 4 oldest granddaughters a bracelet each. Lucky me I get to pick my own ;)cos I'm the eldest and the "Farvouritest" Hahahaha....

On another note, its the 3rd week of the hols and one more week left. I haven't even started to enjoy the hols!!!! I need to get started on the IEPs and lesson plans soon!!!!

That New Step

He finally did it. We finally taking the new step. Let the journey begin. A new chapter is gonna be written. Scary yet excited. Is it meant to be? Who knows what the future will hold......


Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]
This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by


Can you believe it, while everything crazy was going on, this song just nicely came to play on my laptop. It was so PERFECT!

P.S. Thanks to my 2 peeps, Rach & Naz, for not only being there for me but being there for US. I love you guys. Huggzzz....

Busy weekend

Whew! What a weekend! Infact what a week!!

Been super busy the whole week cos its the last week of the school for this semester. Yahoo!!!! Besides the normal thingy of seeing parents (for signing of pupil's progress report), been busy preparing for the LGS "Garden Party" which was held last sat.

What makes this event a big THINGY??? Its an annual thingy so thats why its a big event!! Ok rambling on..... Been put second in command for this school event so had been planning and acting on it since MARCH. Besides the paper works, preparing the invitation and liasing with the teachers, been super stressed with all the last minute people pulling out and replacing the pupils.

But thankfully, all went well. Must say that I have a very good and supportive team mates (the LGS teachers lah, who else kan but not everyone of them duh!). Thank you to those peeps who were responsible enough for making it happen.

Besides that, another event of the year was Naz's wedding. Finally siak! Can't believe its been 2 years already. She was so gorgeous!!! She got engaged 2 years ago and we've been waiting fo this day to come! She was my chilling buddy. We used to lepak on the weekends and after NIE, doing assignments together, go cycling with Alulu. Hai those were the days. I really miss those dayz cos we could not find the time easily now that they all getting married. Hai.... There I go again, can't seem to let go of my past.


on our way to the wedding!!



A quick picture with some colleagues before the groom arrives


One with the groom with kak kaiyah


the last pic for the day

Turning 25

Shit! They say age is just a number, WELL the number just gets BIGGER!!! Can't believe it I'm 25 when it seems 18 was just yesterday. The worst feeling was the ever disappointment. Am I expecting so much? Am I asking fo alot??

Boo you for not knowing what I want and stop defending him as if he is PERFECT and I'm the choosy one. Hell I've always been look at as the bad guy so I guess what's new......

A Whole week

Its finally week 19!! Been a hectic week with the whole week of staying back in school and been going out the whole week with the kids. Ok recap:

Monday: Swimming lesson makes the 3 hours of classroom gone
Tuesday: Travelling lesson to Holland Drive
Wednesday: Snow City!!!!! Wheeee so fun. First time experiencing snow and so excited going down the slides being pulled by my kids.
Thursday: Picnic with SP3A at Bukit Timeah Nature Reserve to celebrate Mrs Mar's Birthday. Lots of yummy food and fun fun fun....
Friday: OBSERVATION!!!!!!! Kena observed for housecraft lesson. My worst subject cos lazy too cook.

Celebrated my birthday with Kaiyah and Naz. So sweet of them to make time and to remember after all the hectic schedules in school. Naz is getting married next week so was very pleased got the chance to spend some time with her before she moves on with her 'new life'. So excited for her!!!!!

Would like to thank all my wonderful friends who remembered my birthday:
Aydee (for being the one to msg me on the dot at 12 am), Siti, Syirah, Idham, Faz, Izzah, Khairizal, Hamdan, RiduanNadiah, Izryn, Kris, Rach, Agrian, Desmond, Hasnah, Shaeedah for the msgs and calls of well wishes. Kaiyah and Naz for the wonderful meal at Fish & Co and the lovely pair of earings. Kak Su and Abang Amir, for the wonderful bear necklace (very bling bling!!! I Like!!!) My Darling for his wonderful creative video.

The Sweet Escape

If I could escape
I would but first of all let me say
I must apologise for acting, stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favourite girl
Forever, Perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Whatsoever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet Escape

(I wanna get away, to our sweet escape)

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting in you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for a common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you are angry
By the way you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favourite girl
Forever, Perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Whatsoever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet Escape

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

UntukMu

Angin bayu membawa diriku
Sepintas lalu ku terkenangkan mu
Memori silam meresap malam
Kenagan bersama tersimpan selamanya

Walaupun kau pergi jauh dari diri ini
Cinta ku masih bersemadi di hati
Keyakinan kita kan kembali
Menghidupkan semula janji bara cinta

Kita bersama mengejar mimpi
Terpisah sementara ku past
Suatu hari nanti cinta kita bersemi
Kembali menerangi mekar di taman hati
Walaupun jauh pandangan mata
Ku yakin kau kan tetap setia
Begitulah ku jua keikhlasan di jiwa
Dan cinta ku hanyalah Untukmu......

Sappy love song.....
The meaning of the words just means so much to me. This song was a hit back in those school days. Can't believe time just move on so fast. Damn! I was only 18 yesterday!

On another note, been watching The Lake House for the 3rd time already. I'm just a sucker for romance movie ;P
Keanu and Sandra just looks good together as reel lovers. I love how extraordinarily the story lines go. Isn't it cool! Separated by 2 years they managed to fall in love just by writing letters to each other. Amazing how fate works. Of course lah it doesn't really work in real live..hai.... sometimes no matter how fate works, you have to work doubly hard to make it work the way you want it to.......

Unified Soccer

On 28 April 2006 was THE day. After 3 months of training, the day came. Ok lah for you people who doesn't know what day it was, it was the Special Olympics Unified Soccer Tournament. What is Unified? It is a collaboration between our special pupils with pupils from mainstream schools.

Our team formed 2 teams consisting of 9 of LGS pupils, 4 Crescent girls pupils and 2 boys from the east side of singapore. We actually started of with about 10 Crescent Girls but I guess commitment was the problem they had.

The 4 girls that did commit to our team started out with no experience in playing soccer. It was hard for them initially. But I guess when you are willing to work hard and practice, it always pays off. The girls (all 4 of them) were SUPERB during the tournament. They played really hard defending and attacking our opponent. Of course I can't forget my 2 boys who were really great with our pupils. Not only did they played really hard during the tournament but they were really great with our pupils, joking and talking with them. I guess you can say they really did put in confidence to the pupils.

As for me, this is my first time to manage 2 teams for a tournament. For 2 years consecutively, our school had been the champions for the last Unified Soccer Tournament so yes the pressure was hard on me. Especially since I am a GIRL. But the experience is just mind-blowing. All the decisions to make were always supported by " my Head" . It was agreat team that has been formed.

So once again, under the superb coaching by 2 great teachers, Mr Anis & Mr Ed, our senior team is the champion of our division. But our junior team did not do badly themselves. They mange to came in the 4th placing despite the fact that this is their first time joining a tournament like this. I am very pleased with all the efforts that have been put in.


Our Unified Players



Serious Pose


Not serious at all

I can't believe I miss her.....

Amoi is coming back! I can't believe of all people I would miss her. Naz is right. Our relationship with her is full of love and hate. Hahahahaha. Her baby is so cute!!
Can't wait to catch up with her....

PAIN

The girl felt the pain. Its been quite awhile. She tried to stand it, hoping it will go away. The pain consume her, till she could no longer take it.
She went to see the doctor. The doctor gave her the bad news. It seems there is no way to make the pain go away. She will have to die.
Alone she sat. Figuring what to do. Would it be easier to just jump off or will it hurt less to drown? As she sat, as alone as she felt, she visions the people she love best.
She could see her mummy's sadness, she could see her daddy's fear. She could see her grandma's heartbroken and she saw her grandpa's tears. She saw her brothers and sisters, feeling lost and not knowing why. She knew her aunts and uncles and their children too. They will feel the lost and maybe shed a tear. Will her friends miss her? Will they think of her and offer their prayers?

In this empty world, where cruel and hurt is everydays thingy. How were she to survive? When the pain just refuse to go away.......

An Uncle

He was born on the 10th of Oct. Grew up in a big family. The youngest of the 8 siblings.

He grew up loved by many. Pampered but not spoiled. He never knew the hard life the way his sisters and brothers did, but he knew to be contented with what he has.
He was popular in school. A normal guy, who enjoys playing soccer but lazy when it comes to his studies.

He fell in love at a yong age. When boys are still boys. He was forced into marriage when he was only on the brink of manhood. Forced to grow up when he wasn't ready. Too much responsibilities, too much problems. He couldn't handle it all.

He wasn't smart but he was nice. He was love by many more. He turned to people he thought he could trust. He was led by them to things he shouldn't have touched.
It ruined his life. He ruined himself. He lost so much more than just amount. But one thing still stay true, a mother's love he could never loose.
He tried so hard to remain clean. It was so hard, it wasn't gonna be easy. He couldn't stay strong cos his problems and dilemmas just won't go away.

He died on 12th September at the age of 36. He left behind a wife who misses him so much. He left behind a mother who won't stop shedding her tears thinking of him. He also left behind a Niece who adores him lots, who misses him every single day, who had loved him as mush as she would have loved a bro, who will never forgive the people that had made his life in this world a living hell.......

Good News

Just came back, thought of taking a nap but realise that so much time will be wasted thus spent the time WISELY by going into the net and read up some OLD emails and blogs ;)

Feelings are quite on a roller coaster roll. One moment could be UP and the next would be DOWN. I think too many things going through my mind.

Met up wif Rach (finally!!!) for lunch. Talked bout her getting married. So happy and excited for her!! Can't wait to see her in her wedding gown ;)
Got 3 weddings to look forward to; Naz's, Alulu's and Rach's. Eh anyone else getting married???

Other good news, Amoi will be coming back at the end of this month. Hopefully will bring her baby along. Can't wait to see her. Who would have tot she could be missed. hehehe....

Got a big decision to make so got to think about it carefully. Worry and scared that I won't be able to go through with it.....

Depress

Its the weekend.....can't sleep.....

Have been reading this book title "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. The behind summary of the book goes like this:

"The Hartes and the Golds have lived next door to each other for eighteen years. They have shared everything from family picnics to chicken pox - so its no surprise that in high school Chris and Emily's friendship blossoms into something more.

When the midnight calls come in from the hospital, no one is prepared: Emily is dead at seventeen from a gunshot wound to the head, inflicted by Chris as part of an apparent suicide pact. He tells police the next bullet was meant for himself. A local detective has her doubts. And the Hartes and Golds must face every parent's worst nightmare and question: do we really know our children at all? "

Have been taking my time on reading this book, absorbing every single words. Everytime I read it, I ponder on my thoughts. Suicide has been something very close to my heart. I've always thought about it eversince I knew anything about it. Not that I ever thought of killing myself (I hate pain so can't bear to do anthing painful to myself). But I've always wondered what is it really like to be so depressed that u feel as if only death is the way out. What makes u be so brave to kill/hurt urself when u are so coward to face the world? Is facing the world really hurts more than death? How does it feel at that last moment before u die? Doesn't it hurt? Will u be remembered for ur suicide or for dying because u can't face the world anymore? Will u be remembered at all??

Reading this book makes me question more. How does the author know the precise words to use for the characters. Especially when the characters are recalling certain period of their time. How was she able to espress the feelings so clearly?

"Emily tossed a pebble into the lake, breaking the smooth surface. It was a strange feeling, knowing that her life would always intertwined with Chris - God, it had been since the day she was born - and yet realizing that she was still secretly hoping for an out. Everyone expected Chris and Emily to be together forever, but forever had always seemed a long way off.
She pressed her hand to her stomach. Forever had a real time line now.
Emily supposed then, the answer was yes. She could marry Chris. The alternative would be explaining that she cared for him like a sister, like a friend, not necessarily like a wife. And she would see his face whiten, feel his heart crumble in her hand.
She did not love Chris enough to marry him, but she loved him too much to tell him that. "

Isn't it funny how in most suicide case involves love. And when love is suppose to define as a feeling of passion, happy and being on top of the world, it also brings all the negative feelings of jealousy, disappointments and fear........

10 more weeks to go

Damn! The holiday is over and I feel as if it was suppose to have just begun. Had been having restless nights for the past few days, not sure why.

Damn! 10 more weeks to go before the next hols. How am I gonna survive I'm still wondering. So much things to do, not much time left. Dreading that it is coming to the mid of the year already. Shit! Turning 25 soon (too soon I feel). Crap, I'll be 1/4 of a century. Cheers to getting older! Blah!

Guess what! Happiness doesn't last. There is no such things as Happy Ever After. Maybe there is a reason they made Happily Never After.......

My Perfect Guy

I'm in LOVE with this perfect guy, who woos me with words so sweet. This is not a poem, not a confession, just some words I want the whole world to know.
He captivates me with his Joker smile. His long curvy eye lashes I've always adore. The words out of his lips never fail to soothes my insecurities, yet they are not just sweet empty words but words that he means from the bottom of his heart. He comforts me, chasing away all my nightmares. Always there, never far away. Gives in to all my wimps yet firms up whenever he needs to. It took me awhile to open up, to tell him all my secrets insides. And when I did, it seems as if the world is so much better to live in.

Maybe its just a dream, maybe its not real. Maybe heaven do exists.........

How to woo a Taurus????

This post is dedicated to one of my bestest friend Aydee.....

How do u woo a Taurus???? Hmmmmmm.....

Easy, a taurus is materialistic and egoistic bitch. She craves for the things she doesn't need and never learnt to appreciate the things she have. She adores people easily and gets her heartbroken too often. She can be too soft and cold hearted at the same time. She IS fickle, doesn't make up her mind easily. She listens to what others have to say rather than say what she has in mind. Her weakness.....chcolates...

How do u get a Taurus to fall in love with u??? Hmmmmm.....

U love her despite her ignorance, her weakness and her strength. U love her despite her tantrums and her stubborness. U give in to her wimps and desires. At the same time, woo her with sweet words, words means the world to her, sometimes more than action. Because she can't make up her mind, make the decision for her and when she disagrees, let her change that decision u have made. Love her family as much as she loves them, cos family means the whole world to her. Give her the independence she wants but at the same time, hold her close and give her ur full attention, cos a taurus strays easily. Apologise everytime she gets mad, even though u feel its not u who made her mad, and she'll apologise as soon as calms down. The most important is u must have all the patience in the world.Never let her walk away from u when u have a fight and NEVER walk away from her. Don't make promises u can't keep. Don't bring up her past unless she wants to bring it up. Don't tell her what ur ex did to u cos she won't give a damn. Last but not least, get her to fall in love with u when she is mature enough to handle love.

Its Thursday

Time check: 4:15pm in LGS staffroom all alone

Waiting for Soul to finish work so we can head out for dinner together. Had to finish up some last minute work for a camp tomorrow anyway.

Hmmm it is a bit convenient that Soul and me working at the same place. Convenient in a way that we know what each other is doing, understanding each others work problems and IF in case anything were to happen (CHOI!!!) we can easily be contacted since half of the colleagues has my number while the other halfs got his. On the other hand, I think sometimes we see each other too much that we tend to take advantage of each other.

Is that how marriage life is gonna be?? I mean, will we get bored of each other since we gonna see each other day in and out? How will we spice things up between us??

Ok don't get any ideas. I'm not getting married YET. Will people stop asking me when. Yes me and Soul has put a target on when we want to get married but there is so many things still I want to do. Seriously begining to think that maybe we are in a hurry planning for THE day. No denying I envy those friends of mine who are married or getting married. It looks so exciting and easy but hearing about all the preparation and $$$ made me think twice. Then married life itself means more responsibilities and more $$$$ needed. Halo! I am now still struggling with my responsibilities as a daughter, a grandaughter, a sister, a teacher and a friend whats more with responsibilities as a wife and daughter-in-law.

Ok, am beginning to panic right now. Breathe Di, breathe......

Divorced

Received a news that another divorce from a couple I knew coming up.Hai.....here on one hand many of my friends rushing to get married and on another hand, many couples I know are heading for divorced.
Whats up with the world??? Once, divorcing was a shamful thing, yet now its a shamless act where some people divorcing just cos they can't stand their partner anymore. Don't understand it at all. Whats more, these people jump into another relationship once the divorce is final. Its good if the next relationship is really going somewhere and that new partner is really the ONE. But there are some shameless mother who does not bother about their children but going around shamelessly with a man.
Its scary but true. Seen it and experience it myself. These children are left on their own, where the mum don't even bother to ask if they have eaten. You can't possibly imagine what these children goes through. The attention they lack, the love they are denied.

The Vertical Marathon

Wah lau, its coming to the end of 1st term already!!! One more week to go befor the holiday break. Yahoooooo!!!!! Its amazing how time flies when u are so busy.

Last sun was the National Vertical Marathon. 6 of our pupils was choosen to represent our school in the marathon. It was actually our first competition for the year. We trained the pupils for a month (me staying back almost everyday!!!!) I think its me and Soul who is more excited than the kids. Anyway, everything went smoothly. We came in top!!!! It was so exciting. Now can't wait for our Soccer competition coming up in April. Again me and Soul are planning very hard for their training. Trying to come up with varieties of training so they won't get bored.

On another record, I have not taken MC for this term!!!!! Amazing!!!!


My champions

Met The Family

Hai....feeling very stressed rite now. Actually finished feeling stressed but am recalling what happened in the day made me stressed again.

Recap on the Day:

Was invited to my pupil, Shannon, home today for the Chinese New Year. She lives in one of those terrace house somewhere in upper serangoon near to potong pasir. Ok that was not the point. So got nice food to eat and get to see Shannon in her different environment and her different behavior. Quite leased with her actually cos she was very welcoming and helpful in serving us as guests.

Then went to see my grandparents. Haven't been able to visit for the past weeks due to my hectic schedule in school. Feeling very bad cos now my grandparents are living on their own. Really need to spent more thime with them.

Ok the stress part is that today I met Soul's family. He hs been wanting me to meet his mum for quite some time already but I had always managed to avoid it. So today his sibs are celebrating his mum's bday so he asked me to tag along. Initially I kind of keep finding excuse not to go but SOMEONE told me I have to meet them sooner or later so better sooner! What kind of advice was that?? Anyway it has been kind of unfair also lah since he has met all my family members. ;P SO we met his mum first at Lakeside mrt. She is very quite. (Now I know where Soul's gotten his quiteness from.) Met his sis together with her husband at Swensen where we had dinner. The sis very nice, quite open but I still got along way to go to feel comfortable. The brother (the younger one) looks so like him.
Ok for u people who has no idea why am I so stressed up for is bcos I have never NEVER met up with any of my BF's family. I mean I never have to cos it never got far (I guess). I am not the type that charms people easily or gets comfortable with people easily so it was really awkward for me but I'm glad its over. Hopefully I get to sleep well tonite.....

Walkin Home

The night is young, the sky is clear. The moon can't be seen but the stars are shining bright. Somehow no matter how tired I was, I felt the need to walk home and clear some thoughts in mind.

I love walking home. Don't know why. Used to walk home everytime after late nights out with friends. Even if it was 2 or 3 am in the morning. Somehow it just felt free. But now Soul doesn't allowed it due to my safety, so I only walk home if I'm coming home early.

Anyway, trying to sort out some things in life right now. Keep questioning, am I making the right decisions? Is this what I want out of life?
U guys know how serious I am. Am not the 'relek' type. And me being me, don't want to confide in people. No matter how close I am to friends, I am never the type to open up to my feelings and thoughts easily. Unless the scenario is over and done. And unless that person I trust with my life. (And I can count those people with one hand.)

What My Birthdate means

Your Birthdate: May 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

5 months

12.09.06 - 12.02.07

Its been 5 months now.
The tears may have dried but the crack in the heart is still there.
Missing u lots, though trying hard to forget.
Pretending that u are still somewhere out there.

So Bzzzzzz

*BLANK*

Time check, its 4:15 in LGS staffroom, all alone.
My brain is dead man! Have been over busy with school activities for the past few weeks. Actually got lots of things to write but for now, the brain is just too tired to think of the words. Ok let me gather my thoughts.

Have been training our 6 pupils for a vertical marathon tournament fo the past fe weeks almost everyday. The marathon will be held on th 25th February. Me & Soul has been taking turns to train the kids in school and today we brought them out into the neighbouring flats to try out. The kids have to each climb up to 10 storey. At first thought was "WAH LAU!!! 10 storeys lei!!! Die man long time never climb stairs" When actually it took us less than 2 minutes. Can you believe it, it is less than 2 minutes to reach the 10th floor!!! And we were not even running yet. Hmmmm, could be that the steps of flights are too little. Maybe next time should get them to climb all the way to the 20th floor. Hahahaha

On another note, i just finished reading this book title "My Sister's Keeper". It is damn sad and good. Gonna lend Soul the book to read so cannot write down what it is about here. Anyway just the sypnosis: The story is about this 13 year old girl who was made (n I mean literally made) to match her 2 years older sister's blood. Her older sister was found to had leukimia at the age of 4. Now we all by now should know what is leukimia. So since she was born, she has been given her blood to her sister. Now her sister has been found to have a kidney problem. Although she loves her sister, she doesn't want to give up her kidney for her sister. So what does she do? She actually sues her parents. It is during this trial when you get to find out the reasons behind her suing. And the ending is so ironic but sad. YOU SHOULD READ IT!!

Ok, Soul bought a new soccer boots. VERY NICE!!!! It looks like I will be playing soccer more now that Soul has got his boots. So we tried out his new boots (while I have my own old boots) yesterday in school with my class boys and guess what! My boots fell apart!!! Can you believe this. Its a SIGN!!! Dilah, time to get a new soccer boot. Heheehheee. Saw a pink (actually its white with very light red stripes that makes it looks pink from far) adidas soccer boots at the place where Soul bought his. Hmmmm maybe I should get it at the end of the month ;)

Farewell My Friend

Taking my time to pen this words down.
I knew it ain't gonna be easy but I'm gonna do it anyway.
U have been a friend I could always rely on.
Never failed to be there.
Years have gone by, we've learnt to grow up.
Each of us have taken a different path, each of us leading a different life.
U are surrounded by wonderful friends, u don't need me anymore.
I'm leaving u now, steps by steps away.
I wish u all the best, all the happiness that u can get.
I hope those friends that u've loved and adore,
Will be there for u, as how u had for them.

Feeling Lousy

Been feeling very lousy for the past few days. I am seriously not sure whats wrong with me. Have been losing my temper easily lately, getting impatient over small things. Need to destressed myself soon. Not to worry cos payday is in 3 days time. YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!! Can go shopping!!!!! Yeah!!!!!

Missing my friends alot!!!! Especially Naz and Alulu. We used to lepakz alot together. Must meet up with them soon. Also because of my bz schedule, missed seeing my god daughter who just celebrated her 3rd year birthday. Must buy her a belated birhday present. Hmmmmm......
Also must meet up with Rach soon. Yo babe, better meet up soon before I finish up my pay. hahahaha......

Weird

Been haunted by weird dreams for the past few days. Its making me cranky during the days. Wats up with that???!!!

The first week was hectic. Hadn't got the chance to think bout Uncle Rosli until the weekends. Soul said its a good sign cos then it means I'm focusing on my work and letting him go slowly. But when given a chance to dwell, it hits hard and straight.

Making things worse, just receive a news that someone I knew, was told after a check up she has cancer. Not sure how to react to the news at first. Even while she was telling me about the check up and everything else, my mind went berserk. How could a nice person like her get it??!! How come its someone I know??!!! Not sure what else to expect and it is only the begining of the year.

And wats more, somehow this song keeps banging in my head:
Life’s a show and we all play a part
And when the music starts,We open up our hearts
It’s all right if some things come out wrong.
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.
Where’s there’s life,
There’s hope.
Everyday’s A gift.
Wishes can Come true.
Whistle while You work.
So hard All day.

To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world.
Don’t give me songs.
Don’t give me songs.
Give me something to sing about.
I need something to sing about.

Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.

Still my friends
Don’t know why I ignore
The million things or moreI should be dancing for.
All the joyLife sends.
FamilyAnd friends.
All the twists
And bends
Knowing that
It ends.
Well thatDepends…

New Year, new work

Am trying to do my lesson plan but it seems my brain won't work, keeps floating to other things.
Its only 3 days of school and already could feel the preasure pressing me down. Not sure what I did last year but I seemed to be piled up with responsibilities this year. Not sure also if its a good sign or not. So worried I won't be able to handle it, so afraid to let people down when they have so much comfidence in me.
On another happy note, Soul got a permanent place in school. Get to see him everyday ;) . Hahahaha.......Already planning in my mind what to do during the June holidays.

A Wish for the New Year

Its been a hell of a year. I remembered just last year writing a post recalling the things that happened in 2005 and here I am doing it again for 2006.

2006 has been more personal for me. So many things that had happened throughout the year had affected me one way or the other. So bear with me if it seems this post s getting too long

The year had started with a new class, a new change, a new challenge. It was scary yet comforting cos I know I got a great co-teacher to work with. Was so looking forward to the challenge in moulding the pupils I get. I love my S2A kids. They bring joy and laughter to my everyday work. It was worth every headache, paperworks and backstabing I get at work.

Starting DISE was a drag initially but look how far we've come. The last semester was full of emotion especially in our 'Counselling' class. Somehow, fate must have planned something cos we made lots of great friends. I realise then, how I love school actually and love homework, assignment and all. (I must be mad!) Hai.....working for the DISE finally came to an end in July when 40+ of us graduated at the big hall in NIE with the other teachers. It was such a bittersweet moment.

Celebrating my bday with Amoi, Naz & Kaiyah felt strange somehow. Cos I knew then I guess, that we had drifted apart. Or at least, I had drifted apart from them. How, and when? I couldn't tell. Yet when Amoi left us to go to China with her husband, I began to feel something missing. NOW that is strange, considering my love-hate relationship with her.

In September, I lost someone dear to me. Someone I practically grew up with. My late uncle Rosli, was my playmate when I was younger. I always looked at him more like a big brother instead of an uncle. We shared so many similar habits, character and even in looks (its the sepet eyes). This is the first time in my life, ever to lose someone who means the world to me. Cos he is not just a freind, he is family. When the first time I lost a friend to death in 1998, I felt sad and hated death for it. Then I lost another friend, in 1999 and I felt resigned to fate. But when I lost my god-bro in 2005, I thought there could never be another hurt as how I felt. But this year, the hurt was too overwhelmed. I don't think I'll get over it.

This year is also the year where my little bro finally grew up, steping into teenage life. Its a big step for him cos he got so much to live up to. I mean the rest of his sibs had done well in life (of cos there had been screw-ups along the way). For him, life has just begun.

Truthfully and honestly, I'm not looking forward to the new year. Turning 25 soon made me realise that I am a quarter to a century and yes I'm getting older (Yikes!). It's scary cos there is so much more to come and I'm not sure I have any more strength for any other emotions in store in 2007.

Where did my hols go???

Hei....Merry Xmas!!!! Its a day after Christmas and one more week to the new year. Oh my god, where did the hols go??!!!!! I can't believe a month had gone by.

It's been a hell of a holiday. Feeling really relaxed and can't wait to go back to work. Been watching too many movies and eating a lot. Me and Soul has been trying out this new eating habit this whole month. We are trying out this "cheat day diet" (I think that was what it was called). Soul saw this celebrity on Tyra Bamks show who shared her secret on keeping a healthy body. She said she didn't do diet instead she eats normally, exercise and keep one "cheat day where she eats any sweets or unhealthy food for that day only for a week. For the rest of the 6 days she eats healthily. So me and Soul crazily tries it out. For the first week it was HELL!!! We tried not to eat fast food cos of the oilyness and fattenin thingy. Do you have anyidea how hard it is to find healthy food in this country??!! Especially halal ones. For the first week, I keep eating sandwiches and soups; mee wanton soup, yong tau foo soup, soup noodles, fish noodle soup. It was mad!!! By the 3rd day I was ready to quit. Can you imagine how bad it is for me who loves fried chicken, who need to indulge in french fries every day to keep myself sane had to give that all up??? So Soul being the sweetheart he is, decided that maybe it is ok to have McDonalds as long as I'm not eating the oily McWings. I was finally in heaven!!! I managed to stuck through the week and when sunday finally came (we decided that Sunday will be our cheat day cos its the day we usually have weddings to go and have to eat nasi minyak.) I had the KFC Prfect Meal for Variety Lover. It has chicken, burger, popcorn chicken, fries and pepsi. Haiiiiii..........it was good. But by the next week, we got used to it that we had to have something soupy for most of the days. Of cos we not only eat healthily but we try (very hard!) to exercise.

I would recommend this to those who likes to diet. It keeps you healthy (I hope!)

Accidents bound to happen

Read the news today. 2 girls died in an accident at chua chu kang ave 2. Actually knew about the news cos it happened 2 days ago right infront of my sis eyes. The 2 girls were very young, aged 21 and 23 respectively. They were riding on a bike that was only bought a few months ago when it crashed with a lorry. The rider had just passed her bike lessons 6 months ago. The rider, a divorcee left a 5 yr old daughter.

I keep wondering how the family is gonna move on. I keep wondering what would happen to the daughter. Its a sad sad world.

At times I'm faced with a dilemma. There are two sides of people. One side are people who likes to take risks in their lives, living it to the fullest. The other side take things slow, being extra careful on how they lead their lives. They might not live it to the fullest but they get to live longer? At least most of them do. So where do I stand in?

Boots!!!

Walked around town today. Got a new 'FOX' skirt that I've been aiming to buy for quite awhile. So happy when I finally bought it. Can't wait for bonus next week. My sis got 4K! I hope I get as much cos our pay ain't that much of a different. ;)

Ok back to the subject.....was walking around town today and saw so many people wearing cool boots!!! What's up with that??!! And then I saw this pink butterfly Dr Mart boots!!!! At first I tried on this high knee length Dr Mart boots but realise that I would have problem with the side zip as I have big calfs. Then the sales lady told me to try the pink high cuts and I went CRAZY cos it was so cool!!!! Can already imagine it with my new skirt!!!! (Rach I think you would love it too!!!) But I was contemplating to buy. The practical side of me tells me that I won't wear it often and I can't wear it to school. But the wild side of me reminds me that I'm not young anymore. If I don't wear it now then when?? Hai!!!!!! How???!!!!!!

My Sweet Bought me Flowers!!!!!

Soul bought me a bouqet of flowers for our 15 month anniversary. So sweet of him. Didn't really expect anything cos we were suppose to go shopping for HIS things. (Acually I kind of forget its the 7th. Sorry sexy bun!)

Anyway felt damn guilty bout it cos I've been throwing my tantrums at him for the last few days. (can blame on my pms!) Hai......first time siak he bought me a bouqet. So far all this while only buy me in stalks. But ok lah some people will say "at least you get flowers." I know I know and I'm very thankful for it ok!

Can't Sleep

Its late but my eyes won't shut. The feeling of sleepiness that used to guide me to dreamland had abandoned me. Could it be because I'm not tired yet or is it because of too many things on my mind.

Too many things happening, too many shits just happen. One minute you're up and the next you're down. Happiness just doesn't stay.

I'm not the type to talk but I'm willing to listen. Why won't you just listen to me and let it go! I said I don't and I say I won't. Stop hurting me with all those words.

This Christmas

"Its a season to be jolly Fa la la la la la la la la"

That song keeps playing in my head. What's up with that man!

Its my favourite season of the year!!!! Christmas!!!! (And this is the part where Soulsicle will say "Dear, Christmas is not a season." And my reply would be "It is so cos every year it happens on the same date, never change one!") Yes I love christmas. Not that I celebrate it and all. But I love it. The feeling is just different from any other celebrations. Maybe its due to the fact that it is always a long holiday for me. Anyway, I love that there is so many sales going on, many presents to be wrapped. I mean its this time where you can buy things and get wrapped without looking so silly.

Besides that I love christmas trees. Its so nice to see the different decorated christmas tree. Soul and me are going to look for all the different christmas tree around Singapore and take the pictures. I've already taken 4 ;).

I remembered my dad took me to a Christmas party once when I was 5 yrs old. It was so fun cos I got a present. (Although I can't remember what was the present.) It was wrapped in shiny wrapping paper.

Anyway..........me and Soul went to Raffles City yesterday and we found a Barbie doll Christmas tree!!! So cute!!! The tree was decorated with different Babrbie dolls wearing different styles of costume.
And then we went to the Adidas shop and I found the boot I like at a discount price!!!!!!! SHIT! SHIT! Ok take note to those who wants to get me a Christmas present ;). The boot is black colour and my feet size 61/2, ok?

The Holiday Is Here!!!!

Yeah!!!!!! The December Holiday is here. It feels so good to get to wake up late everyday of the week and not have to worry bout work for at least a few more weeks. Actually it is kind of boring since there is no work to worry about. ;P Been going out everyday in the week that me and soulsicle kind of running out of idea what to do and where to go. Somehow due to my very boredom, I finaaly agreed enthusiastically (I have no idea what got into me!!) that we "take a walk at MacRitchie Reservoir". (We went to Bukit Timah last June Holiday.)

I was kind of excited actually to go up on the canopy walk and get over my fear of height. Anyway Soulsicle LOVES all this nature thingy (me I'm a city girl all the way!) so.......(the things you do for love ;P)

We made our way around 2 from home (since he got Friday afternoon prayer). Happy happy had our lunch at McDonalds and took the train to toa payoh before taking a bus there. AT this time it was already raining heavily along cck to woodlands. Kind of dampen the mood cos we thught we had to postpone the plan. But when we reach toa payoh it was sunny!

When we reach there the scenery was awsome! I forgot how much I enjoy peace and quiet and thats what I got. So much peace and quiet! Its as if life doens't exist! Excitedly we made our way up following the "forest trail". Along the way we get to see monkeys and squirrels!!!! (Me and my childish excitment seing the animals). But halfway up I begin to feel my leg muscles complaining. And I just realise that we have to come down again later. Man, I have no idea what I'm actually putting myself in....... anyway, we didn't get to go for the canopy walk cos by the time we reached the top it was already 4.56 and we are not suppose to enter after 4.45. Silly me never check out the time earlier! So with aching muscles we made our way down back to the hman world.

I had trouble sleeping the night because of all the aching muscles but already made up my mind to do these more often. So another day planned for next week to head up to MacRitchie Reservoir early in the morning ;)

The result is just a piece of paper

The past few days has been quite hectic. Too many things happening at one time. Like they say; Life ain't a bed of roses.

PSLE results were finally out and over. Many knew my baby bro sat for the exam this year and was one of those kids waiting for the results. It seems that many acquaintances I knew have children who were also waiting for the results eagerly. Big Congratulations to parents whoese child had done well!!

It was so long time ago when I was in the same position. But I was lucky. Being the eldest child in the family, I wasn't really pressurized to score. I was only pressurized to pass the exam and not to repeat PSLE. ;) I was actually quite worried also cos I am never the clever kid who can get A just like that. I belong to the other group of kids where I need to put in 200% of efforts just to do well. But I never regret in being that group, cos I believed that it made me a better person and not take things for granted and work hard for what I want.

And it seems my baby bro and my little babe (u know who u are) belongs to the same group as me (yeah....) Its hard for them. These kiddos are so pressurized to do well as they have older siblings who had done well. They are expected to do just as well or worse better. In the end these parents forget that no thumbs have the same set of prints. I shall not indulge in their results as it does not matter. As the result, is just a piece of paper.

I do take the blame too. Maybe I was not strict enough with them. Maybe I did not taught them right. Maybe I did not motivate them enough. There's too many maybes in our life and yet it still get us going. I do feel bad that they did not manage to get the results that ther people wants them to get. I do feel that I am somehow responsible for their results. As a tutor and a big sister, I am responsible for them. So let this be a lesson for them and me.

As they are going to step into a new chapter of their life, into teengers, there is more challenge to come. More mistakes they are going to make and I hope more lessons to be learnt. Its not always easy to step out of your comfort zone and go into a new environment. So my advise to my 2 kiddies, take the step with courage and and an open heart. Pick a school you want to go and put in efforts to work hard. It's ok to fail (as I too had failed a couple of times) but make sure you push yourself to pass and score. Life will never get easier but it gets better if you want it too. The decision of how you want your life to be is up to you. Make friends but don't be disheartened if you lose some along the way. Find your strengths and curb your weaknesses. All in all, remember the people who loves you and always have faith in Allah. Know that he will look out for you if you want him too. In the end the person you become is the result, and that is NOT a piece of paper.

Life still goes on

Finally!!! The big day had come and gone. Today was the MINDS combine graduation day. Lee Kong Chian Gardens School staff was the committee in charge in putting up the big day together. It took us months of preparation with long hours of after work to put together a 6hr party for pupils graduating this year. But I guess it pays off, especially seing their happy faces.

A total of 99 pupils from all 5 schools turned 18 this year and graduate today. For some it might not be something that they are aware of but to most of them, they somehow knew that things are going to be different for them from now onwards. Being pushed into a working adult for this pupils with intellectual disability might not be something most of them looks forward to. I have past pupils who came up to me after working for a year, still telling me they wished they could go back to the times when they were still in school. How different are they really from us? I still have friends who stills wish they could turn back time to those glorious days of schools ;)

Still life has to go on. No point wishing for something that can not be undone. Today as we watched each of our graduates wentup on stage taking their cert, can't help but feel that somehow we had played a part in their life. Like what one colleague told me, " When you see them graduate, its a very good feeling. Cos you knew that somehow no matter how small it is, you had played a part in their life. Even if it is just giving them a push to go up the stage to receive the cert."

Next week is the last week of school. Next year there will be a new batch of students to groomed. A new batch of graduates we are going to help, to prepare for them to step into a young working adult life. That will be next. But for now, its just time for us to take a breather......

Hari Raya

This year raya just doesn't seem right. Not feeling up for the celebration. Actually i just realize that I have never really enjoyed celebrating Hari Raya. I mean first day is exciting, getting ready in new clothes, meeting your family blah blah blah.......

But do these people actually knew the meaning of celebrating Hari Raya? Do they actually know the purpose of this celebration? Why do these people cry and ask for forgiveness but the next day, all the shits just starts again? I never did understand.

I don't understand why these people visit other people's house (no offense people) just for "collection" when these people might be people related to their friends but strangers to them? Why do people bother to visit friends with whom they have not been keeing contact for years?

No intention to be offensive but I just need to ask and I hope people understand. Maybe its just me. I have never really been the type to keep in contact with people. Maybe because I have been stabbed on the back too many times. I have learnt too many times that friends just come and go. And they are always easy to make new ones. Although there are times I wish I had made the effort to keep in contact with some people.

But my family I have always believed, will be there for me through out, and it has been proven too many times..........