A new Day

Woke up feeling abit wiser today. Soulsicle msged me early in the morning realising that he will be out of work in a few months due to the change in the management. It starts me thinking that maybe I've been putting the pressure on him too much.

While getting dressed up for work, standing infront of the mirror, I can't help but think how different Raya would be this year. Can't help but start imaginig how it would be like to dressed up infront of the mirror with soulsicle in our own house. Unbelievable it seems so real. Yes I can already see us as a married couple.

I love him very very much and he loves me more. He made me realise how wonderful it is to be in love and never felt the hurt anymore. He was there for me at every step of the way, not once complained or gave up with my tantrums throwing. Maybe he was sent to me to help me get through this life. Cos I know it will not get anymore easier..........

The tears just won't dry

Lost in a memory of love in the past. Haunted by mistakes we never thought we made. Could never let go even though its the right thing to do. Being stubborn as always. Refusing to listen just wants my own way. Hate the fact that life still has to go on. This path I've choosen was forced in my hand.

I can't breathe can't stand the pain. But still refuse to accept that whats done cannot be undone. I hate the thought that I'll never get to see him again. Can't get over the fact that he is gone forever. It hurts more than a broken heart. But if my heart has been broken how could it hurts more?