Its the weekend.....can't sleep.....
Have been reading this book title "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. The behind summary of the book goes like this:
"The Hartes and the Golds have lived next door to each other for eighteen years. They have shared everything from family picnics to chicken pox - so its no surprise that in high school Chris and Emily's friendship blossoms into something more.
When the midnight calls come in from the hospital, no one is prepared: Emily is dead at seventeen from a gunshot wound to the head, inflicted by Chris as part of an apparent suicide pact. He tells police the next bullet was meant for himself. A local detective has her doubts. And the Hartes and Golds must face every parent's worst nightmare and question: do we really know our children at all? "
Have been taking my time on reading this book, absorbing every single words. Everytime I read it, I ponder on my thoughts. Suicide has been something very close to my heart. I've always thought about it eversince I knew anything about it. Not that I ever thought of killing myself (I hate pain so can't bear to do anthing painful to myself). But I've always wondered what is it really like to be so depressed that u feel as if only death is the way out. What makes u be so brave to kill/hurt urself when u are so coward to face the world? Is facing the world really hurts more than death? How does it feel at that last moment before u die? Doesn't it hurt? Will u be remembered for ur suicide or for dying because u can't face the world anymore? Will u be remembered at all??
Reading this book makes me question more. How does the author know the precise words to use for the characters. Especially when the characters are recalling certain period of their time. How was she able to espress the feelings so clearly?
"Emily tossed a pebble into the lake, breaking the smooth surface. It was a strange feeling, knowing that her life would always intertwined with Chris - God, it had been since the day she was born - and yet realizing that she was still secretly hoping for an out. Everyone expected Chris and Emily to be together forever, but forever had always seemed a long way off.
She pressed her hand to her stomach. Forever had a real time line now.
Emily supposed then, the answer was yes. She could marry Chris. The alternative would be explaining that she cared for him like a sister, like a friend, not necessarily like a wife. And she would see his face whiten, feel his heart crumble in her hand.
She did not love Chris enough to marry him, but she loved him too much to tell him that. "
Isn't it funny how in most suicide case involves love. And when love is suppose to define as a feeling of passion, happy and being on top of the world, it also brings all the negative feelings of jealousy, disappointments and fear........
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
10 more weeks to go
Damn! The holiday is over and I feel as if it was suppose to have just begun. Had been having restless nights for the past few days, not sure why.
Damn! 10 more weeks to go before the next hols. How am I gonna survive I'm still wondering. So much things to do, not much time left. Dreading that it is coming to the mid of the year already. Shit! Turning 25 soon (too soon I feel). Crap, I'll be 1/4 of a century. Cheers to getting older! Blah!
Guess what! Happiness doesn't last. There is no such things as Happy Ever After. Maybe there is a reason they made Happily Never After.......
Damn! 10 more weeks to go before the next hols. How am I gonna survive I'm still wondering. So much things to do, not much time left. Dreading that it is coming to the mid of the year already. Shit! Turning 25 soon (too soon I feel). Crap, I'll be 1/4 of a century. Cheers to getting older! Blah!
Guess what! Happiness doesn't last. There is no such things as Happy Ever After. Maybe there is a reason they made Happily Never After.......
Thursday, March 15, 2007
My Perfect Guy
I'm in LOVE with this perfect guy, who woos me with words so sweet. This is not a poem, not a confession, just some words I want the whole world to know.
He captivates me with his Joker smile. His long curvy eye lashes I've always adore. The words out of his lips never fail to soothes my insecurities, yet they are not just sweet empty words but words that he means from the bottom of his heart. He comforts me, chasing away all my nightmares. Always there, never far away. Gives in to all my wimps yet firms up whenever he needs to. It took me awhile to open up, to tell him all my secrets insides. And when I did, it seems as if the world is so much better to live in.
Maybe its just a dream, maybe its not real. Maybe heaven do exists.........
He captivates me with his Joker smile. His long curvy eye lashes I've always adore. The words out of his lips never fail to soothes my insecurities, yet they are not just sweet empty words but words that he means from the bottom of his heart. He comforts me, chasing away all my nightmares. Always there, never far away. Gives in to all my wimps yet firms up whenever he needs to. It took me awhile to open up, to tell him all my secrets insides. And when I did, it seems as if the world is so much better to live in.
Maybe its just a dream, maybe its not real. Maybe heaven do exists.........
How to woo a Taurus????
This post is dedicated to one of my bestest friend Aydee.....
How do u woo a Taurus???? Hmmmmmm.....
Easy, a taurus is materialistic and egoistic bitch. She craves for the things she doesn't need and never learnt to appreciate the things she have. She adores people easily and gets her heartbroken too often. She can be too soft and cold hearted at the same time. She IS fickle, doesn't make up her mind easily. She listens to what others have to say rather than say what she has in mind. Her weakness.....chcolates...
How do u get a Taurus to fall in love with u??? Hmmmmm.....
U love her despite her ignorance, her weakness and her strength. U love her despite her tantrums and her stubborness. U give in to her wimps and desires. At the same time, woo her with sweet words, words means the world to her, sometimes more than action. Because she can't make up her mind, make the decision for her and when she disagrees, let her change that decision u have made. Love her family as much as she loves them, cos family means the whole world to her. Give her the independence she wants but at the same time, hold her close and give her ur full attention, cos a taurus strays easily. Apologise everytime she gets mad, even though u feel its not u who made her mad, and she'll apologise as soon as calms down. The most important is u must have all the patience in the world.Never let her walk away from u when u have a fight and NEVER walk away from her. Don't make promises u can't keep. Don't bring up her past unless she wants to bring it up. Don't tell her what ur ex did to u cos she won't give a damn. Last but not least, get her to fall in love with u when she is mature enough to handle love.
How do u woo a Taurus???? Hmmmmmm.....
Easy, a taurus is materialistic and egoistic bitch. She craves for the things she doesn't need and never learnt to appreciate the things she have. She adores people easily and gets her heartbroken too often. She can be too soft and cold hearted at the same time. She IS fickle, doesn't make up her mind easily. She listens to what others have to say rather than say what she has in mind. Her weakness.....chcolates...
How do u get a Taurus to fall in love with u??? Hmmmmm.....
U love her despite her ignorance, her weakness and her strength. U love her despite her tantrums and her stubborness. U give in to her wimps and desires. At the same time, woo her with sweet words, words means the world to her, sometimes more than action. Because she can't make up her mind, make the decision for her and when she disagrees, let her change that decision u have made. Love her family as much as she loves them, cos family means the whole world to her. Give her the independence she wants but at the same time, hold her close and give her ur full attention, cos a taurus strays easily. Apologise everytime she gets mad, even though u feel its not u who made her mad, and she'll apologise as soon as calms down. The most important is u must have all the patience in the world.Never let her walk away from u when u have a fight and NEVER walk away from her. Don't make promises u can't keep. Don't bring up her past unless she wants to bring it up. Don't tell her what ur ex did to u cos she won't give a damn. Last but not least, get her to fall in love with u when she is mature enough to handle love.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Its Thursday
Time check: 4:15pm in LGS staffroom all alone
Waiting for Soul to finish work so we can head out for dinner together. Had to finish up some last minute work for a camp tomorrow anyway.
Hmmm it is a bit convenient that Soul and me working at the same place. Convenient in a way that we know what each other is doing, understanding each others work problems and IF in case anything were to happen (CHOI!!!) we can easily be contacted since half of the colleagues has my number while the other halfs got his. On the other hand, I think sometimes we see each other too much that we tend to take advantage of each other.
Is that how marriage life is gonna be?? I mean, will we get bored of each other since we gonna see each other day in and out? How will we spice things up between us??
Ok don't get any ideas. I'm not getting married YET. Will people stop asking me when. Yes me and Soul has put a target on when we want to get married but there is so many things still I want to do. Seriously begining to think that maybe we are in a hurry planning for THE day. No denying I envy those friends of mine who are married or getting married. It looks so exciting and easy but hearing about all the preparation and $$$ made me think twice. Then married life itself means more responsibilities and more $$$$ needed. Halo! I am now still struggling with my responsibilities as a daughter, a grandaughter, a sister, a teacher and a friend whats more with responsibilities as a wife and daughter-in-law.
Ok, am beginning to panic right now. Breathe Di, breathe......
Waiting for Soul to finish work so we can head out for dinner together. Had to finish up some last minute work for a camp tomorrow anyway.
Hmmm it is a bit convenient that Soul and me working at the same place. Convenient in a way that we know what each other is doing, understanding each others work problems and IF in case anything were to happen (CHOI!!!) we can easily be contacted since half of the colleagues has my number while the other halfs got his. On the other hand, I think sometimes we see each other too much that we tend to take advantage of each other.
Is that how marriage life is gonna be?? I mean, will we get bored of each other since we gonna see each other day in and out? How will we spice things up between us??
Ok don't get any ideas. I'm not getting married YET. Will people stop asking me when. Yes me and Soul has put a target on when we want to get married but there is so many things still I want to do. Seriously begining to think that maybe we are in a hurry planning for THE day. No denying I envy those friends of mine who are married or getting married. It looks so exciting and easy but hearing about all the preparation and $$$ made me think twice. Then married life itself means more responsibilities and more $$$$ needed. Halo! I am now still struggling with my responsibilities as a daughter, a grandaughter, a sister, a teacher and a friend whats more with responsibilities as a wife and daughter-in-law.
Ok, am beginning to panic right now. Breathe Di, breathe......
Monday, March 05, 2007
Divorced
Received a news that another divorce from a couple I knew coming up.Hai.....here on one hand many of my friends rushing to get married and on another hand, many couples I know are heading for divorced.
Whats up with the world??? Once, divorcing was a shamful thing, yet now its a shamless act where some people divorcing just cos they can't stand their partner anymore. Don't understand it at all. Whats more, these people jump into another relationship once the divorce is final. Its good if the next relationship is really going somewhere and that new partner is really the ONE. But there are some shameless mother who does not bother about their children but going around shamelessly with a man.
Its scary but true. Seen it and experience it myself. These children are left on their own, where the mum don't even bother to ask if they have eaten. You can't possibly imagine what these children goes through. The attention they lack, the love they are denied.
Whats up with the world??? Once, divorcing was a shamful thing, yet now its a shamless act where some people divorcing just cos they can't stand their partner anymore. Don't understand it at all. Whats more, these people jump into another relationship once the divorce is final. Its good if the next relationship is really going somewhere and that new partner is really the ONE. But there are some shameless mother who does not bother about their children but going around shamelessly with a man.
Its scary but true. Seen it and experience it myself. These children are left on their own, where the mum don't even bother to ask if they have eaten. You can't possibly imagine what these children goes through. The attention they lack, the love they are denied.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
The Vertical Marathon
Wah lau, its coming to the end of 1st term already!!! One more week to go befor the holiday break. Yahoooooo!!!!! Its amazing how time flies when u are so busy.
Last sun was the National Vertical Marathon. 6 of our pupils was choosen to represent our school in the marathon. It was actually our first competition for the year. We trained the pupils for a month (me staying back almost everyday!!!!) I think its me and Soul who is more excited than the kids. Anyway, everything went smoothly. We came in top!!!! It was so exciting. Now can't wait for our Soccer competition coming up in April. Again me and Soul are planning very hard for their training. Trying to come up with varieties of training so they won't get bored.
On another record, I have not taken MC for this term!!!!! Amazing!!!!
My champions
Last sun was the National Vertical Marathon. 6 of our pupils was choosen to represent our school in the marathon. It was actually our first competition for the year. We trained the pupils for a month (me staying back almost everyday!!!!) I think its me and Soul who is more excited than the kids. Anyway, everything went smoothly. We came in top!!!! It was so exciting. Now can't wait for our Soccer competition coming up in April. Again me and Soul are planning very hard for their training. Trying to come up with varieties of training so they won't get bored.
On another record, I have not taken MC for this term!!!!! Amazing!!!!
My champions